Give A Little, Get A Little…
The most important job duty I have, at least according to my coworkers, is ordering Chinese food for the office once a week. This is an easy process; I send out a mass email asking for orders, collect money from those who come to my desk and write their order down, call it in, and walk to the front of the building to pick it up. A monkey with good verbal skills could handle this.
While it’s not a difficult thing to do, it is an inconvenience. For one, I never order from this particular restaurant. I took a chance and ordered egg drop soup once and I never will again; it was a disgusting mess and tasted terrible. Everyone knows I never order because they crowd around me while I lay the food out and see that I never pick anything up for myself, plus they see me eating my homemade lunch at my desk immediately afterward. Second, it’s a little annoying to have people stand at my desk trying to figure out what they want, or asking me if I know what certain dishes taste like (it’s Chinese food, it’s mostly all the same). I don’t like people hovering around my personal space. Third, I get the most idiotic questions about what people should pay me. “The meal is $4.75, so what should I give you?” My answer is always the same: “Most people add $1 or $2 for tax and tip.” I’ve tried rephrasing how I answer but I always receive follow-up questions about the tax percentage, acceptable tip amounts, or what the last person to pay me paid. Finally, ordering for the office means I am confined to my desk from the moment I put word out that I am ordering until the moment the delivery guy calls to tell me he’s outside. Then I have to walk up front to retrieve an awkward and heavy box of food and attempt to balance it on one arm while opening the door to my office (which no one ever holds open for me) and lay out all the food while trying to check and ensure orders are correct while fighting off the hungry mob breathing down my neck.
I have done this without fail every single week since July 19, 2010. I do this without asking for thank you’s, without asking for anything really. I do it because I’m a nice fucking person.
Is it too much to expect that, when people who order from me decide to do a mass order for food, that they would ask me if I would like to order with them? On average, people who order Chinese will decide to order from a Mexican restaurant, a sandwich shop, or one of the other establishments that delivers about three times a month. On average, these people who I fetch food for once a week will ask me if I would like to order with them about zero times a month. Is it because they don’t think I’ll like the food they order? Doubtful, since they’ve seen my husband and mother-in-law get me Donatos and I can’t hide my love for Mexican food. Do they forget about me? Also doubtful, since I’m in a central location in the office and they receive at least one email from me per day. So what is it?
Look, I don’t ask for much. I’m not asking for handouts or thank you cards. I’m just saying it would be nice for these selfish dicks to think to themselves “Hey, Jamie takes care of our orders once a week; she talks to the lady who barely speaks English so we don’t have to, she carries it in for us so we won’t break a nail, maybe we should see if she wants US to take care of HER order this time around!” That’s all I ask. Common courtesy, pay me back for the time I take once a week to do your food order and offer to do mine. Hell, you’re already doing it for 7 or 8 people, adding me won’t be a hassle. I’d love someone to order Donatos for me so I didn’t have to call and mess with it. But I suppose that as with most things at work, I’m expecting way too much from these people.
Seriously though, I’d love some Donatos if anyone wants to help a girl out……