Note Wars

I work with some people who are seriously lacking in the manners department.  My 5 year old son would put these women to shame with his excellent table manners, and this is a kid I have to remind to eat with his mouth closed on occasion.  We have about 4 people who use nail clippers in the office at various points during the day, an activity that should be kept at home or at least in the restroom here.  There are a couple loud farters and burpers who refuse to say “excuse me” or “sorry” after they let one rip.  I hear people loudly crunching chips, smacking while they eat, and talking with their mouths completely full all the time.  As I type, the girl next to me is chomping on some Fritos, and I can hear it clearly over my headphones.  And of course, there are the gum crackers/smackers/poppers.  The worst offender of all the listed behavior is a giant waste of space that sits behind me.  I’ve included the pictures below so you can get an idea of what she looks like.  If you can imagine combining the two, you’ll get a perfect mental image.

This woman love to gossip and will talk trash about anyone; she is the most two-faced person I have ever met and will just as easily spout off horrible things about her own family as she will her worst enemy.  She invented a rumor that I cheat on my husband with one of the most annoying soldiers in our office.  I’ve lost 35 pounds in 4 months by calorie counting, something she likes to loudly proclaim would NEVER work while describing her own weight loss methods (she is morbidly obese).   She couldn’t find sour cream one day so she put ice cream on her salad.  I wish I was kidding.

One of the worst things she does is crack and pop her gum; she will do this all day long and various people have complained.  Every once in a while, an anonymous person will print off an article or a note regarding how rude it is to crack/pop gum, especially in a work environment.  Yesterday, her immediate supervisor walked over to her and said “I think this is meant for you,” handing her paper from the printer.  The paper said, in caps, “PLEASE STOP CRACKING YOUR GUM!”  At first she was taken aback, thinking her supervisor printed it himself to give to her (which he may have, we don’t know who is doing it), but after he said it wasn’t him, she proceeded to make a joke out of the whole thing.  She added “Whoever prints these needs more work to do” at the top and hung the paper by our printer.  A few more things have been added:

It’s pretty much turned into our version of Pam’s microwave note war from The Office, and the point was obviously lost on Paula Deen’s fat clone sister because today she is still popping her gum loudly while proclaiming that the note writer is jealous of her, but regardless of how the message was delivered, it should carry some weight.  I don’t work in a park or a street corner where rude and gross behavior is tolerated or at least expected, I work in a government building that won’t even let you in the door unless you have an ID issued by them that you get after passing through various background checks that take months to complete.  My office has strict dress and conduct codes; I can’t wear jeans or sandals to work, forget to shower in the morning & show up a stank mess, or cuss people out (even though I think the last one would greatly improve my morale).

Sure, the notes may be a bit juvenile, but is it any worse that the gum cracking/popping, the nail clipping, farting, or open mouth chewing?  They are a cry for help from a person who is frustrated over having to deal with disrespectful people who don’t care about how their actions affect and bother those around them.  In a way, I hope the notes continue to appear, because at least it means I’m not the only person in this office who would love to see adults acting like adults and not acting like gross teenage boys who just discovered body function humor.


About Jamie C. Baker

“Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.” - Kevin Smith

Posted on June 21, 2011, in Crazy People, Food, Weight loss, Work and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

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  1. Pingback: We’re All Adults. Sort Of. « The Sanity Of A Mad Woman

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