True Love Isn’t Blind
I’ve noticed that the most bizarre events, the ones that should result in nothing but anger and destruction, serve a positive purpose and result in me feeling closer and more connected to my husband. Sometimes it stems from things that were put in place with the intent to hurt one or both of us, other times it’s life itself acting like a spiteful teenage girl and slashing our car tires, and at the worst we get hit with a chain of events that qualify as the definition of FML.
Yesterday, I awoke to a barrage of bad news and bullshit. My car passed away after giving me three wonderful years. It was a ’98 with over 200,000 miles on it with an engine carrying about 70,000 miles. I had just replaced the brakes a few months back, four new tires a year and a half ago, and exhaust repairs 2 years back. I received the car in a very used condition, but it was MY car and I loved it; I get very attached to my vehicles. A few weeks back, it began stuttering so we purchased a new fuel pump thinking that was the issue. Turns out my fuel pump is fine, but my valves are trash and repair costs start at $1500, and that doesn’t include the belts that need replacing or any other issues they find. Having been without a car more than a few times, I’m used to the loss but it still hurts my heart. I’m glad my husband was supportive and able to cheer me up rather than do the “it’s just a car” speech I’ve heard so many times. I expected him to be angry since this means for a little while he will be the sole driver, but he acted like it didn’t faze him one bit. I’m glad he was strong for the both of us and didn’t allow me to be a girl over the bad news. Rest in pieces, my poor car….
The other half of the FML portion of the day was somewhat of a continuance of negativity from weeks past. It’s sad that people feel the need to try to tear me down, especially in a condescending way or under the veil of the “I care” excuse. I think one of the reasons it happens is due to the same motivation that is behind why I vent on a blog; it makes me feel better about my situation/problems/dilemma/etc. It’s a lot better for all parties involved for me to vent quietly rather than act like a brat towards those people I feel wronged me. I can laugh at my office nemesis because I vent my frustrations on here and at home rather than start a problem at work; a coworker told me today that if she was in my position she would have gone off on this woman months ago. My husband and I share a wonderful ability to tear people down verbally, especially when properly motivated. I love that about him, but what I love even more is his self-control. He’ll let a couple of things rip when speaking to me, but he has enough respect for himself to not wallow in the mud and engage in the Let’s Trade Insults game. He’s taught me that it’s much better to go through life knowing you have the ultimate last words than it is to engage the other party and speak those words aloud.
It would have been easy for the two of us to give up on the day and sit around wrapped in anger. As fun as that sounds, we washed away the negativity in the shower and got on with our day. I did slip and do a pouty-face once we arrived at the auto shop to retrieve my broken mess of a car, but my husband managed to make me smile about the situation, plus we were able to get it home without the assistance of a tow truck and right before the engine started smelling like death. The repair shop didn’t charge me for anything, plus I have $144 credited back to my account for the fuel pump I couldn’t use along with an envelope full of cash that was going to go towards repairs. We grabbed lunch at Applebee’s, then headed down the road to schedule delivery on our new couch! The sectional we currently own was a lesson for us on what features we do NOT want in a couch, mainly the stationary cushions. Afterwards, we retrieved the boy, gassed up the ride and invaded Meijer for groceries. My husband ordered us Papa Johns for dinner which was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! We’ve been Papa Johnsless since last October, so you can imagine how good it was for us! My son wanted to watch The Karate Kid, his new favorite movie, so my husband and I got some much needed alone time. Plus it was House marathon Wednesday, and you can’t beat that!
My husband isn’t perfect and he’ll tell you himself that he can be an asshole at times. He’s direct, he doesn’t bullshit around, and he’s truthful with himself and everyone around him. People always say that love is blind but I think that only applies to lust or puppy love, where pure emotion overrides common sense in a whirlwind relationship that is bound to crash to a bitter end. True love isn’t blind, but it is open, accepting and honest. People are flawed, some more than others. I spent my youth looking for the perfect man and the perfect love, only to realize that it’s unattainable. My husband and I are two imperfect souls who found each other from 1000 miles away and fell in love. We’ve become one of those couples I used to envy and our relationship feels as though it’s spanned 3 1/2 decades rather than years. We’re affectionate without overdoing it and putting on a show for those around us. Our marriage is anything but the typical definition of perfect, no fairy tale crap here, but somehow it gets better with each passing day. I was lucky enough to find someone who looks at life in a very similar fashion as myself. We’re at the point where we are so comfortable with each other that our disagreements are quickly diffused; we understand it’s healthy to fight but we resolve it quickly and shut it off without yelling and slamming doors. We rise above our obstacles rather than allow them to weigh us down. We don’t keep secrets and while it took me some time to learn it, I found I can tell him anything without fear of judgment or ridicule. We’ve done so much growing together and I know I wouldn’t be where I am now if not for his support and loyalty. We love, value and respect each other… at the end of the day, isn’t that all that matters?