Run My Relationship!
How do I know he’s the ONE? Am I in an abusive relationship? How can I tell if she’s cheating on me? Should I spy on him if I think he might be talking to his ex? Is there a quiz I can take to find out if we’re a good match? Should we get married? Should we break up? What does it mean when she says “nothing is wrong?” Why doesn’t he listen to me?
Without fail, every single day I see at least one news article, quiz, or some sort of “Text us for an answer” commercial regarding relationships and how to get the answers on how to properly manage your love life. I’m asked to text my name and the name of my lover to 88999 and find out if we’re meant to be, otherwise I run the risk of being left at the altar. I’m prompted to check my zodiac sign against the sign of my love to make sure we’re compatible. I pass by articles that implore me to read the 10 signs my man is cheating. I’m told I should take the quiz to find out if I’m too controlling, or possibly the quiz to see if my husband and I know each other as well as I think we do. I should definitely read the article about the secrets to making my man have eyes only for me!
When I was in middle school, we had this game where we would assign numbers to our name and the name of our crush and through a weird mathematical formula that I have since forgotten, we would find out if we would fall in love or were destined to be apart forever. It was fun. We were 12. There comes a point in life, normally after girls outgrow their training bras and guys are forced to shave every day to avoid a 5 o’clock shadow, where a person needs to stop relying on other people, games, or media to tell them what to do in their own relationship.
It’s a safe assumption that if you feel that you must read an article or take a quiz to find out if you’re in a bad relationship or if your partner is cheating, the answer is most likely YES. When I was abused, I knew it. When I was cheated on, I was aware of it. If you’re taking crazy steps to define your relationship or answer suspicions, chances are you’re in an unhealthy relationship and need not look any further. The simple fact that you showed that much interest in an article spelling out the signs of an unfaithful partner is a clear-cut sign that either your partner is cheating or your relationship lacks trust and communication. Why read an article about “Why Guys Do ____” when you can just ask your boyfriend or husband?
My husband of almost 4 years isn’t compatible with me according to our zodiac signs, and yet here we are. Our taste in music is so different that Match.com would never put us in the same room together, but we still fell in love. We didn’t use a quiz, didn’t test the compatibility of our names (although I imagine having the same name counts for something), and didn’t consult an online psychic. We used these funny things called brains and followed these weird emotions associated with the heart. We (gasp) talk to each other. A lot. If we ever took a compatibility quiz, it would be for fun and not something we used to test the longevity of our marriage. We’re secure with each other and with the strength of our love and relationship.
If you’re secure with your love and want to take these quizzes for a laugh, go for it! If the results upset you, obviously you weren’t as secure as you thought. No quiz, no article, no bizarre online source can tell you how to handle your relationships. No one, regardless of credentials, can give you valid guidance through these types of mediums. Don’t bother reading past the headlines; if your interest perks when you see “Does He Really Love Me?” take a break and analyze your relationship. Although an anonymous quiz may be easier, it won’t be effective or constructive. Open the channels of communication between you and yours and see first hand if you’re meant to go the distance or if it’s time to abandon ship.