Sunshine After The Rain
I am a chronic worrier. Just a few days ago, I was stressed over the parent-teacher conference with my son’s kindergarten teacher because it was my first one and I didn’t know what to expect or if he was doing well. Nearly every morning I worry about whether or not we’ll get to work on time. I get a bit panicky over trying to find enough time in the day to get things done. And always, without fail, I stress about money.
I’ve never had trouble finding and holding onto a job, but I have generally always had issues with having enough cash to fund what I needed and pay for things I wanted. When I moved away from Georgia to marry my husband, I was afraid it would take me a while to find work. Luckily, I scored an interview in about a week and a half and was working about three weeks after my arrival. The job was great; I started out at $16 an hour and was promised a raise in 19 days provided my performance was up to par. I got that raise and then another when I had my annual review. I could get all the overtime I wanted, at least for the first two years. Business slowed and my two year review and raise were both put on hold. Out of frustration over that and other factors, I quit.
After a brief stint selling Kirby vacuums, I landed my current job making a bit more than I was when I left my previous employer. Unfortunately, this job gets boring. Very boring. I began doubting whether or not I made the right call leaving my old position. A few months after I started work here, my husband and I were going to Kroger and we passed by my old office. There was a For Lease sign in the window. Not long after, the office was cleaned out and the sign was down. They had moved the office to a much smaller location, about 1/5th the size, right down the road. A coworker of mine here said he visited the new office and they had let more than half the staff go because there was no room for everything they used to do. It definitely left me feeling justified in my decision to leave them behind.
Like I said earlier, this job is boring. I enjoy a challenge and I love having my work day filled with as much as possible. A position opened up in my office that would definitely keep me busy all day so I applied. The interview was stressful and my stomach was in knots the entire day and for a couple days afterward. I didn’t get the job. This put me into a whole new cycle of worrying about wasting my time and intelligence in this position, more months of dealing with not-Paula Deen and her hateful attitude, and resulted in me putting myself in a very foul mood for a few days. I didn’t NEED the job so there was no valid reason for me to feel like garbage, but it’s how I’m wired unfortunately.
Shortly afterward, I got a call from my employer who works out of Virginia. His company lost the contract for my position and I would no longer be their employee. The company that ended up winning the contract just happened to be the same one I had interviewed for. The real kicker was the salary. Same job, same function, same duties, not even close to the same pay. I felt like I hit the lottery with this one. I’m not rich or anything, but I have nothing to complain about. My old company also paid out my remaining vacation time to me on the first of this month; I had thought I used it all so it was a pleasant surprise logging into my online banking app on my phone and seeing a new chunk of cash.
There’s always going to be something to worry or complain about, but I think I’m beginning to see that its existence doesn’t always need my acknowledgement.