A Whole New World

Yesterday I was listening to a portion of The Podfather Trilogy with my husband while driving to pick up our son.  Karl Pilkington was asked to name a few people he would take with him if he were to go to a brand new world and create a society.  I encourage you to download the podcast; the entire thing is hilarious.  In the middle of Karl’s list, sometime after naming Jamie Oliver, my husband asked me who I would take.  Simple question, but it really got me thinking.  If a new planet was discovered, just like Earth but not yet ruined by us, and I could go there with my family and choose a handful of people to come with me, who would I bring?  Assuming of course, there are no boundaries to who I can pick and I don’t have to be too logical….

Les Stroud:  He’s the lonely guy on Survivorman who goes out on his own for a week and videotapes his experiences surviving in the wild.  After he got married back in 1994, he and his wife spent a year in the Canadian wilderness to attempt a Paleolithic existence, first building a tipi then an attached A-frame, using only the materials around them and using no modern tools.  They then built and equipped a winter cabin using only an axe and a modern bow saw.  This guy knows how to survive; he can find food, hunt, and build shelter.  It’s imperative to have him around, as we are going to be starting from scratch and need someone who knows how to make something out of whatever is available.

Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker):  A weed selling mom of three seems like an odd choice at first, I will admit.  Nancy has a way of getting what she wants, regardless of who she is dealing with.  She’s business-minded and determined, a natural leader and a fearless woman.  She may be flaky at times, but I believe she’d be able to finish whatever job was handed to her.  She has the ability to know what people want and the drive to supply it.  She’s also not bad to look at and not particularly picky about the men she sleeps with; we’ll need to grow as a society and I have no doubt that Nancy will be able to give us a kid or three.

This kid:

Dwayne Johnson:  The Rock.  Not much more needs to be said, but I do have my reasons.  This man kicked major ass as The Rock and kicked even more when he made the transition over into film.  He’s proven to be quite an intelligent guy.  The thing about him is that the muscles and tough guy act isn’t just there for show; Dwayne could probably crush my skull with his pinky and not break a sweat.  Having brute strength on your side has its advantages; we’ll need help building shelter and defending against carnivorous wildlife.  Plus, I’d sleep much better at night knowing The Rock is next door, eyebrow raised, ready to take on whatever is thrown at him.

Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie):  It’s never lupus and he can prove it.  Sure, he’s addicted to vicodin and he has an attitude, but the man is brilliant.  He can read people better than anyone else on this planet and would be invaluable in ensuring there are no secrets and no hidden conspiracies in our new society.  He’s also a talented diagnostician and we’ll definitely need a doctor in this new land; there is no telling what strange diseases are around and what effects our new environment could have on our body.  I don’t care about bedside manner, I want a doctor who is willing to do whatever it takes to ensure we all live, even if his motives for doing so are selfish.

Milla Jovovich:  I’m convinced that The Sixth Sense was a documentary about the origins of Milla.  If Maynard James Keenan is referring to someone as the Supreme Being, I’m inclined to believe it.  This woman can do anything, on and off-screen.  She’s a power house who does what needs to be done in order to survive and I believe she’d be on board with growing food as well as hunting big game, collecting firewood or putting together various shelters.  She’s composed and confident and able to adapt to any situation.  I’m also convinced that if she and Dwayne Johnson had a kid, it would have superpowers.

Natalie Portman:  She’s a gorgeous woman with a degree from Harvard.  Despite her fame, she’s remained level-headed and scandal-free, something that seems to be a challenge for many young women in the spotlight.  She’s the type of person I feel that anyone can relate to and get along with, regardless of age or background.  Once we begin to establish ourselves as a society, we’ll need someone to teach our children.  I would have chosen my instructor for my gifted program back in elementary school, but I imagine she’s well beyond her child bearing years at this point and unfortunately I can’t afford to take any females along who can’t pop out some kids and assist in the growth of our new world.  She would also be a great contributor and organizer when we begin establishing rules and laws.

Sam and Dean Winchester (Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles):  We have no idea what this new world holds in store for us, but these brothers are no doubt prepared for it.  They’ve both been to hell and back.  Literally.  They’ve battled demons and monsters we can’t even imagine, lived through the apocalypse, defeated the Devil himself, and they’re still standing.  They’ve both had a rough life and deserve a fresh start in this new world we’ve discovered.  If the boogeyman exists in our new lands, I’d be more comfortable knowing that the Winchester brothers will be there to show us how to handle it.


About Jamie C. Baker

“Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.” - Kevin Smith

Posted on November 7, 2011, in Life, Travel, TV/Movies and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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