To Each Their Own; I Don’t Want To Know
Due to my lack of good judgement, I attempted to watch an episode of True Life that highlighted a man with a foot fetish. I’m not a prude, nor am I close-minded, but this particular fetish has always freaked me out. It’s beyond my understanding and is the easiest way to make me cringe or run away. I decided that his episode would be a good way for me to face my fear and get over it so it wouldn’t bother me any time I heard it mentioned. Either facing your fears doesn’t work for me or this guy was simply on another level of creepy, but I would have been less uncomfortable in a room with dead-eyed porcelain dolls and hairy tarantulas.
There are all sorts of fetishes and preferences out there that I find revolting or too extreme, but none make my skin crawl the way a foot fetish does. Even typing it makes me uncomfortable. I totally understand appreciating certain parts of the human form, but some of the activities tied to foot fetishism disgust me thoroughly. My first roommate, other than in my college dorms, had a foot fetish. He took it upon himself to share this with me, someone who would never date him and therefore wouldn’t require this information, as well as with various other male friends and coworkers. While part of me was glad to know so I could make sure to keep shoes on at all times, the bigger part of me wondered why in the world he would think it was okay to share this with us.
Foot fetishes seem to be fairly common and for some reason it’s also become common to tell everyone that you have one. Other than my roommate, I’ve encountered nearly a dozen people who weren’t trying to date me or bed me or do anything with me that would require me knowing that would proudly share this information with me as if I’d be grateful to hear and was secretly wondering. It was as if this tidbit of information had to be shared in order for everyone else to truly understand this person. The only thing it ever accomplished for me was making me uncomfortable.
It’s one thing to want to be accepted but it’s crossing the line to try to get acceptance for something that does not and will not matter to 99% of the people you come in contact with. Unless a couple is getting carried away with the public displays of affection or someone is taking inappropriate photographs in the mall or at a restaurant, it is impossible to look at someone and think “I bet they like feet in a naughty way.” It’s not an obvious thing and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to make it public knowledge. I wouldn’t tell my friends great tales of what goes on when the Jamies are having adult time and I expect the same consideration from others.
Having a foot fetish or any other kind is nothing to be ashamed of so long as it doesn’t involve farm animals or any of the other obvious no-nos. It’s great that people can find avenues to take to make themselves happy and keep their relationship interesting. But I don’t want to know about it. I watched True Life by choice, knowing that I’d be weirded out, but I don’t want to hear about it from friends or family or anyone who doesn’t sleep in the same bedroom as I do. There is no logical reason for me to have that information and nothing constructive that can be accomplished by me knowing. I’ve heard revealing this being compared to coming out of the closet, which boggles my mind. I would probably wonder if the guy I thought was straight started showing up with male dates. I wouldn’t start wondering about a guy who thinks toe socks are sexy because it’s not an outward trait and doesn’t become so unless the person goes out of their way to behave inappropriately in public or begins running their mouth.
Being open and honest is very important but the level of which you are open needs to vary depending on who you are talking to. My husband is definitely someone who would be appropriate for me to share things of this nature with, and vice versa. Mo coworkers and friends, not so much. Forget about family, they don’t need to hear it. Nobody needs to be so much of an open book that they begin revealing their sexual turn-ons to anyone who will listen. Those you date will obviously need this information prior to getting serious, but that’s it. I don’t get why anyone would have a foot fetish, but that doesn’t mean that those who do should be ashamed of it. It’s a little part of who you are and you should be proud of it. Just understand that being proud and oversharing are two very different things.