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V-Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Love is in the air, romantic plans are coming to fruition, couples get engaged or married, red roses sell out, and getting seated in a nice restaurant becomes quite the challenge without a reservation.  The single crowd plans various anti-love activities or sulks and proclaims it to be Single Awareness Day.  Some couples end their day wrapped in each other’s arms, others on opposite sides of the bed with one person severely let down from what the special day failed to bring.  For my husband and myself, this Valentine’s Day is simply Tuesday.

No, I’m not about to launch into one of those “every day is Valentine’s Day for us because we are SOOOO in love” stories.  I would love to personally punch every person out there who says that garbage.  I’m also not going to tell you tales of how Hallmark and various jewelry stores invented Valentine’s Day in order to make a sweet profit in February.  I simply don’t care about the 14th of February because it’s just a day among many that I share with my husband.  I’m one of those females that a lot of women think are strange; I don’t enjoy getting flowers and could care less about diamonds and fancy jewelry.  I don’t see the point in trying to eat out that night either and fight the crowds of cranky couples only to get a two-seater table near the kitchen or bathroom and be rushed through a meal so the table can be turned.  Leave me out of it.

The anti-Valentine crowd isn’t necessarily jaded or bitter as many people will assume.  I didn’t stop caring because of years of let downs or having my heart broken one too many times.  I’m not skipping festivities today because my husband lacks the ability to be romantic.  I’m not in a loveless marriage where we don’t care about expressing our feelings.  It simply just isn’t a holiday that is for me.  Being a holiday that isn’t important enough to grant us a day off from work, V-Day falls at inconvenient times during the week.  We can’t exactly have a romantic evening out when our six year old needs to be watched and up for school early the next day, nor can we plan a getaway that gives us ample time to get away during the work week.  It falls at an inconvenient time between both of our paychecks and it would be silly for us to empty our accounts of spending money just to appease the other person for no other reason than the calendar commands it.  For us, having date nights or kid-free nights over the weekend is more important than this so-called day of love.

Let me stop you before you insist I do something special at home to celebrate our love.  One of us, generally my husband, cooks just about every night for us and while a special and grand home-cooked meal sounds like a great Valentine’s treat, it’s just a ton of extra work on him that I don’t want to see him do in the middle of the week.  The one truly romantic movie we both love and have special memories of is one that we watch over Christmas; we’re not into mushy movies and won’t be forcing ourselves to watch any.  And as far as what happens in the bedroom… it’s not exactly something we exclusively reserve for holidays and is probably a lot better off without the cheap lingerie and cheesy $10 love song CD.

I’m not totally out of touch though; we are planning to get out this coming weekend and catch a movie, visit a restaurant we’ve never been to, and maybe indulge myself and do some aimless shopping.  If you’d like, you can call it a postponed Valentine’s, but my husband and I refer to it as WE HAVE NO KID THIS WEEKEND, LET’S GO OUT!!!!  I think one of the reasons he and I work so well together is that we don’t fall into the stereotypes of how a couple should act, including that you must participate in certain things and purchase certain items every February.  We’d rather save the cash for our upcoming concerts in March or plan a vacation in the spring.  Or maybe just go crazy one day and buy a ton of Xbox games and accessories.  There are enough holidays that put us under the obligation to drop wads of cash on loved ones (I’m looking at you, Christmas) so I’d rather not add Valentine’s Day to the mix and give myself a migraine due to cash related stress.

Now that I’ve gotten that all off my chest, let me honestly wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day.  My plans aren’t necessarily the right ones or the best ones, but they are the ones that work for my husband and I.  Isn’t that what we should all strive for today, to make this day work for ourselves and our loved one, or just for yourself if you’re single?  If you expect flowers and dinner, don’t assume your dropped hints are enough to ensure it happens.  Don’t play the “oh, I don’t want a gift” game and then get angry when you don’t get a gift.  If you want to go to a fancy restaurant, be proactive and make reservations yourself.  Most important, don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.  The lady that shows up at work the next day with a fancy diamond necklace isn’t necessarily better loved than you, she may just have a husband that knows shiny things shut her up.  Also, not every flower delivery to the office is from the husband; some ladies out there are not above sending it to themselves to look good.  If today is meant to be about love, forget everyone else and concentrate on making it about the one you love, whether it’s your spouse, your kids, your pet, or just yourself.  And if all else fails, chocolate will be 50% off tomorrow.

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About Jamie C. Baker

“Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.” - Kevin Smith

Posted on February 14, 2012, in Life, Love and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. My wife and I have this mutual friend from her college days. He’s a nice guy, but has a quirk that can be irritating. Now we just make fun of it.

    I plan on doing a post on my loathing of Facebook and how the art of it imitates the reality of life, but here is a snackable size example…

    He IM’s my wife and says, “What are you guys doing for V-Day?” My wife replies that we aren’t doing much, she has a special dinner planned but it’s a workday so nothing over-the-top.

    Of course…just by asking the question (to which he cared not her answer), he has engineered the conversation for the sole purpose of generating what his whole action of IM’ing her was for…to tell HER what HE is doing for Valentine’s Day.

    So, as social norms require, which these conversation engineers are well aware of, my wife has to ask, “So what are YOU doing for V-Day?”

    To which he responds that they don’t celebrate any of the “Hallmark Holidays” as people in love should not need a holiday to remind them to love each other.

    So the only point of his “innocuous” first question was solely to permit him, in a socially acceptable way, to say what he wanted to say while taking a swipe at what she is doing and elevating his own ego in the process.

    That seems like a lot of work to me. If only they would use their powers for good.

  2. I’ve said that least 4706760 times. SCK was here

  3. Heya i’m for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me.

  4. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be back.

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