What Is Love? Baby.. Don’t Hurt Me!
Every time the general public seems to forget about Chris Brown, he does something idiotic and gets his name back on everyone’s mind. He told the world to fuck off via Twitter after winning a Grammy (a tweet he later deleted) and he collaborated with Rihanna on a couple new songs. Now he’s all I hear about; is he back with Rihanna, has the public forgiven him, how dare he be honored after what he did, and so on.
What Rihanna chooses to do at this point is her business and hers alone. She doesn’t exactly present herself in such a way that she would ever be mistaken for some sort of role model; with her in-your-face sexuality and often inappropriate comments and behavior, she is hardly a woman that a young girl should want to model themselves after. I don’t say that to slam Rihanna for the person she is, I’m just trying to make it clear that she obviously is not trying to be a role model for anyone. If she wishes to forgive Chris Brown for beating her, so be it. If she can overlook the violent behavior he’s exhibited since beating her, so be it. And if she’s wrong and he ends up hitting her again, she has only herself to blame.
I have a zero tolerance policy for violence against women. I’ve been that girl who’s made excuses to explain the bruises on her arms, the marks on her neck, the black eye. I understand how difficult it can be to walk away and realize that love isn’t that type of pain. I know the insecurities that a woman feels while in an abusive relationship and the reasons she’ll come up with for why she was beaten. It’s a sad and sorry situation and while I was in it, I honestly didn’t think anything was wrong. I thought it was normal, that I deserved it for being difficult, that it was an accident and wouldn’t happen again, and that I could fix it. I was a pathetic shell of a person and sadly, it’s a common place for women to find themselves in.
I refused to open my eyes to see the situation as it truly was until I had my son. At that point, something clicked inside my head and I realized that I was placing my child and myself in a dangerous situation with an unstable violent man who could kill us both if he came at us hard enough. Prior to that, I remained in a daze. I ignored horror stories from formerly abused women who tried to help. I ignored those who extended their hand and offered assistance. I have no doubt that people in Rihanna’s life are trying to help her as well, attempting to get her to open her eyes and realize that she’s putting herself back in harm’s way and sending the message that she isn’t good enough, that she’s worth so little that it’s acceptable to hit her. I also suspect that it’s a waste of everyone’s time to try to get her to see something she just isn’t ready to face.
People like Chris Brown who lash out at women don’t change overnight, if at all. They are cowardly selfish people who use their brute strength and the fear others have of them in order to keep control of certain situations and people in their lives. They are amazing actors and have the ability to fool most everyone around them, giving off the impression of a sweet man who really loves the woman he’s with. Lying is a vital and central part of their life and no one is better at creating a tall tale on a moment’s notice than they are. Often they come from homes where they were abused or witnessed abuse, but that fact should in no way excuse their behavior. There is no excuse for a man striking a woman and to make any is just shameful.
Should Chris Brown be forgiven? Sure; it’s not healthy to hold a grudge forever and eventually you have to move on, especially those of us who aren’t ever going to interact with the guy and who just want to enjoy his music. While it’s good to forgive, what he did is something that shouldn’t be forgotten. If I had my way, he would never be allowed to be alone with a woman again as I have no doubt that eventually he will snap once again and some unfortunately woman will find themselves on the wrong end of his fist. I would hope that females would be intelligent enough to avoid this guy like the plague, but if Rihanna’s behavior and the tweets from fans stating they would love Brown to beat them, chicks these days are as dumb as ever.
Ladies, I don’t care how wonderful you think a guy is, how worried you are about being single if you don’t stay with him, or what reasons you can come up with to blame yourself for being struck. There has never been and will never be an acceptable reason for a man to strike a woman outside of you violently attacking him and the male fearing for his life or fearing severe bodily damage. Most men are bigger than us, stronger than us, and able to fight at a higher skill level than us. It’s not a sexist remark, it’s just fact. It is foolish of any woman to go back to a man who hits her, especially if you have children involved. Yes, accidents happen (I literally walked into a guy’s fist once) but it’s foolish and ignorant to call being struck out of anger an accident. Call it like it is and decide what’s more important, your heart being broken or your bones.
Posted on February 24, 2012, in Crazy People, Fear, Life, Love, News and tagged chris brown, domestic violence, grammy, love, relationship, rihanna, twitter, violence. Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.