Four years ago today, Jamie and I stood in an office at the church down the road. Don Crane, the minister, spoke to us both about how we met and how we came to be sitting in his office, waiting to be married. Our little man played on the floor with small metal airplanes as Don asked us to stand and began our small ceremony. A few laughs escaped as he asked if Jamie would take Jamie’s hand in marriage, we said “I do,” and we left that church as husband and wife.
Over those four years, we’ve had amazing highs and terrible lows, stupid fights and incredibly loving moments, some tears and a lot of laughs. When I was young, I always thought that marriage was this wonderful and magical thing between two people where problems ceased to exist and life was a fairy tale, at least for those who married the right person. Unfortunately for my husband, I was coming into this relationship as a damaged woman, scarred from my previous relationship and life with my parents. This combined with the thought in the back of my mind that everything would be roses didn’t exactly add up to an easy ride in the beginning months.
Being married is a bit like having a full-time job with flaky benefits and crazy hours. Adding a kid into the mix makes it even more hectic for newlyweds. I pushed my husband in the beginning, shut parts of myself away, and expected to be met with the same kind of nonsense I’d experienced with other people. My heart was in the right place and knew I was with the right person, but my head reigned supreme and resulted in me acting like an ass from time to time. I had no idea how much my baby truly loved me, not until I pushed him to his breaking point and he still stood strong for me and for us. I wasted a lot of time in the beginning because I wasn’t open enough to accept that this was love and this man was an amazing person.
In the past, I’d flirted with cute guys online who lived nowhere near me, knowing it was innocent fun and would eventually come to an end since distance doesn’t exactly assist a budding relationship. Jamie was different though. Our casual conversations opened a window to AIM conversations which eventually led to exchanging phone numbers, something I am very reluctant to do with anyone. Texting back and forth became phone calls and long conversations, bringing Jamie to visit me in Georgia for a weekend that cemented my feelings for him. Three months afterward, we were married. Four years later, he still gives me the same butterflies as he did when we shared our first kiss.
We can drive each other absolutely insane, our taste in music is as different as night and day, I’m an emotional wreck where he is grounded and always logical, and while I’m busy worrying about everything on Earth, he is the picture of relaxation. We balance each other out and fill in each others gaps to counteract flaws. Although our differences are many, we’re hardly polar opposites. We both love to write, and while he’s probably more talented than I, we’re both pretty damn good at putting words on paper. We’re nerdy bookworms who prefer drinks at home over shots at a crowded bar. We’re annoyed by the same behaviors and on the same page when it comes to manners. We fit together in a way I’ve never experienced before.
He’s not my dream man by any extent because my dreams wouldn’t have been capable of designing someone like him. He is perfect for me, without a doubt. His personality contains things I never would have thought I wanted in a man, but are things I love like no other and couldn’t imagine living without. He drives me insane when he leaves his socks all over the house, but he can make me smile even at my lowest point and somehow make everything feel all right once again. Four years is a short time, I know, but I feel like we’re been married for ages.
If someone had told me years ago that I’d meet a guy that would make me want to leave warm and sunny Georgia, all the things I loved downtown, Lake Lanier, and all my favorite spots, I’d tell them they were being silly. If they had told me I’d be going to Indiana to enjoy its horrible weather and corn fields, I would have laughed in their faces. But when I met Jamie, I knew I’d travel to the ends of the Earth to be with him because he’s more than worth any risks I’d face. Oftentimes I don’t feel worthy of the love from such an amazing man, but somehow I managed to earn his heart and I don’t plan on ever letting go. Happy Anniversary, baby. Thanks for putting up with me and for never giving up on me and on us. I love you to pieces.