Snipped, Stuffed, Tucked, And Sucked

Sometimes I read something in the news that just makes me sad for the state of today’s society.  Sometimes it’s unspeakable acts of violence, sometimes it’s tragedy, and sometimes it’s just ridiculous, moronic garbage like chinplants.  Yes, chinplants, the new plastic surgery craze sweeping the nation!  For those of you who have had to suffer the embarrassment of seeing photos of yourself on Facebook with a dreaded double chin, there is finally a solution!  No more weak-jawed moments and no more lost confidence because chinplants will save your life!

I’ll be honest, it frightens me how easy it is to get virtually any surgery you desire in order to alter your appearance in a wide variety of different ways.  A woman unhappy with her breast size can receive a reduction and ease her back pain or receive implants, as large as she desires, so she can finally have the cleavage she always wanted and the attention she so desperately craves.  If you have not been blessed with a voluptuous rear end, a doctor can repair it for you and give you an ass to rival Jennifer Lopez.  They can change your entire face, can implant silicone into your abdomen to give you a 6-pack or into your legs to give you stunning calves, and suck the fat out of all your problem areas.  All that stands between you and perfection is the proper surgeon.

I’m not against plastic surgery in general by any means.  If I could get breast implants and increase one cup size and be guaranteed that I’d never have to replace them, would have little to no problems with them, and wouldn’t have scarring, I’d probably get it done.  I would love to have something done to get rid of the stretch marks I was gifted with after the birth of my son.  At one point in my life, I hated my nose and wanted to change the shape of it to better suit my face.  I also can’t stand the bags under my eyes.  That being said, I spent a lot of time growing up and even many of my adult years becoming confident in my appearance and being happy with myself.  My flaws are part of who I am and some of my complaints about my appearance throughout the year were trivial, were about things I’ve grown to love about myself, or were things I eventually grew out of.

There have definitely been times in my life where I see someone and think to myself, “I wish I had their _____.”  The problem arises when people go to a surgeon and think it’s like playing with a Mr. Potato Head; add these lips and this nose, put this chin here and add these breasts, reduce this down and plump this up.  We’re taking features of other people because we enjoy how they look on that person and assuming it will make us look amazing as well.  While it would be nice to announce that you desire Ms. Jolie’s lips and have them look perfect on you, the reality is that you’re going to end up looking like a fish in  the end, not Brad Pitt’s next wife as you had wished.

Plastic surgery creates plastic people.  There are the fortunate ones out there who end up with fantastic natural looking results, but there are also quite a few who get a bad surgeon, get an infection, or go overboard and get a few too many procedures.  Surgery is a serious thing and it’s being treated like a game because people are too lazy to work out or too insecure and childlike to be comfortable with the body and features they were born with.  It would be a challenge to find a single person out there who is honestly and truly 100% happy with their entire appearance.  There is always going to be some flaw, some imperfection, and it’s wrong to run to a surgeon every time you look in the mirror and aren’t perfectly happy with your reflection.

Obviously if you have some sort of deformity, plastic surgery is justified in order for you to live a happy life and not be ridiculed.  And sure, it’s not that big of a deal to increase your bust size a bit, especially if having children shrank your girls a bit.  But when you get into lip injections, chin and calf implants, lowering the ears, and liposuction, you’re gone too far.  If I want to lose weight, I’m going to have to eat right and exercise, not get the fat vacuumed out of me because I’m too lazy to do the work myself.  If I’m insecure because I think my lips are too thin or too fat, that’s just an internal battle I’ll have to overcome, not something to get a consult about and get repaired.  Plastic surgery is fine in small doses or in large for those who truly need it.  But for those of you who feel all sad and mopey about your “weak” chin?  Get the hell over it already.


About Jamie C. Baker

“Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.” - Kevin Smith

Posted on April 20, 2012, in Crazy People, Life and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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