Our First Place
I was recently asked how long one should wait before posing the question to their significant other about whether or not they are ready to move in together. I had no idea what to say to her. I didn’t exactly follow a logical path with my husband. We talked online for about a year before developing serious feelings for each other, but it wasn’t as though we spoke consistently. We both were also dating other people at the time and not exactly flirting or trying to make things happen.
Eventually, my husband wrote a blog about his breakup and I hate to say it, but I was happy. I stopped seeing my interest at the time, which was easy because we had never taken things further than kisses and sharing concerts. We made things official on November 18, 2007. He came to see me that next month in December and at that point, after about 40 hours together, we decided we were going to be married and live in Indiana. Two months later I was here. Two months after that, we were married. I moved a thousand miles to be with a guy who I had barely spent any time with. We’ve now been married for 4 and a half years.
I’m fairly certain that my path with my husband means that I am the last person that should be giving advice on how long one should wait before taking that step in their relationship. But in all honesty, even if I did have a more typical courtship with him, I still don’t believe I could answer that question and be of much assistance. The dynamics of every individual is different and the dynamics of every relationship is different. Rushing in blindly happened to work for me, but it spells disaster for others. Waiting for a year works perfectly for some but would have made me insane if I had to wait with my husband. There is no right answer.
One of the big problems in deciding when the time is right is making sure what you are feeling is true love and understanding as opposed to puppy love and infatuation. I’ve been in puppy love, I’ve looked for love with the wrong people, and I’ve been downright confused. With my husband, however, things were clear. Things felt different and for the first time, I knew that this was it for me. That being said, since I had never felt this before, I had no idea what to be looking for and no way of knowing I was wrong in the past about people. Once I felt the clarity I did with my husband, it seemed obvious, but how was I to know prior?