Bang Bang

I have a confession:  I have watched every season of the Jersey Shore on MTV and I have purchased and read both Jenni Farley’s book on dating and Nicole Polizzi’s novel about a girl spending her summer on the shore.  The reality series started out amusing and has now become a train wreck that I am unable to look away from.  I am grateful that this current season is their last, as I can’t take anymore.  My husband and I are finishing out the season because we feel obligated to finish what we start, but we’ve gotten into the habit of leaving Jersey Shore on as background noise while we do other things around the living room and kitchen instead of giving the show our full attention.  As you can imagine, we’re not missing much.


This group has pinpointed what makes them watchable and what has made them famous.  They’ve taken what was once their natural behavior and amplified it, enlarging it to obscene proportions.  They have become caricatures of themselves, acting dumber and looser to appease the audience.  When one cast member is forced to enter rehab and embrace sobriety, the drunken behavior is simply replaced by incredible arrogance and a giant ego problem in order to compensate for the lack of alcohol-laced comedy.  I often wonder how much influence the show’s creators and producers have over what goes on and what is said.

As ridiculous as the cast gets, I understand the motivation behind it.  This show is their paycheck and they don’t get paid if no one is watching.  What I can’t wrap my head around are these women who jump at the chance to sleep with one of the male cast members.  I can understand the desire to get your face on television, especially since we live in a time where the smallest bit of exposure can make a nobody into somebody.  What I can’t wrap my head around is why these women go the distance and allow these guys to use their bodies for an hour or two, then kick them to the curb after maybe calling them a cab so their walk of shame isn’t as long as it should be.


The boys on Jersey Shore cast aren’t exactly the types I would describe as sexy, irresistible, or good catches.  Mike has a face that looks like a potato, Pauly has ridiculous hair, and the other two are fairly average.  They definitely spend a lot of time in the tanning beds and the gym, ensuring their bodies are in shape, but all in all, not a one of them is worthy of the amount of tail they are able to obtain.  Looks aside, there is no way in hell that each of them does not already have or has had a sexually transmitted disease of some sort.  Additionally, it is crystal clear that none of them are willing or able to pursue a relationship of any sort and have no interest in women other than the temporary habitation of their vagina.

I have nothing against casual sex and don’t fault anyone for wanting to play around without commitment or any of the drama that comes with a relationship.  I don’t consider anyone a slut (male or female) simply because they enjoy sex without strings.  I simply do not understand the motivation that these women have.  I know that certain people will sleep with musical artists or other celebrities to momentarily become one with the person and enjoy a touch with greatness, but these are generally celebrities who have achieved something great.  What good as any member of the Jersey Shore cast ever done?  They’re not changing the world or creating art, they’re simply acting like morons and getting paid for it.  Their “creative” works (books, music, etc.) have meaning only because of their notoriety; Mike’s workout video sold poorly and wouldn’t have sold at all if not for the fact that MTV pays him to go clubbing.  There is nothing to be gained whatsoever by sleeping with one of these guys.


What confuses me more is that these woman seem to be oblivious to the way they are going to appear to the viewing audience, which is bound to include someone who knows them and will let their non-viewing friends and family all about their exploits.  They get tipsy, the flirtation begins, and they go home with these men they only met hours before.  They get naked, have sex, and then are asked to leave.  They do their sloppy walk of shame to the curb with the full knowledge that cameras caught every second of it on tape.  Do they just not care that they look like ignorant trash on TV or do they honestly expect something to come of it?

I imagine that these women have very little or no self-respect and self-worth.  Their self-esteem must also be bottomed out if they are flattered by the bit of attention they are getting and feel special because of it.  It would explain why these women ignore the “grenade” talk and consider being labeled as “DTF” a good thing.  It would explain why they still try to get a call the next morning by leaving their number as the hope of being asked to spend the night slowly fades away.  It would explain why they are getting wildly intoxicated in order to loosen up to make casual sex an easier goal.  It explains it, but the explanation doesn’t make it okay.


Do what you want, sleep with who you want, and have a blast.  Youth is fleeting and should be enjoyed while it lasts.  I just find it disgusting that so many women exist who are willing to blindly throw themselves at these guys, allowing themselves to be an easy and convenient way to scratch an itch, and letting it all be captured on film for the world to see and laugh about.  Anyone who engages in this type of behavior is trash in my eyes, be it man or woman.  There is a huge difference between being a free spirit and being a disposable masturbatory tool in a long line of tools before you.  When you allow yourself to be treated like trash, you become trash.

Jersey Shore has reached its end, but it will be replaced by show after show, celebrity after celebrity, and desperate fan after desperate fan, all working to continue the cycle and make themselves look like fools.  And for what?  A couple of hours of grinding at a club followed by a few minutes of sweating in the sheets and an eternity of ridicule when the footage of your escapade is played and replayed for whoever has the urge to laugh at your expense?  If you’re going to play the game, play it to win.  Don’t allow yourself to be the butt of the joke and the discarded mess at the end of the night.  Take control and be mindful of the image you’re portraying.  Don’t assume being filmed equals being famous.  If your ultimate goal is fame, stop and think for a second about how you want to achieve it.  Personally, if banging strange guys on camera is my only path to fame, I’ll happily remain in the shadows.


About Jamie C. Baker

“Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.” - Kevin Smith

Posted on December 20, 2012, in Crazy People, Fun!, Love, Party!, TV/Movies and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. This is the problem I have with most of these types of reality shows. The first season is really the only one where you get to see any “reality” at all. Once they start getting paid, which really kicks in after a successful first season or two, they start having money, and having money changes everything.

    The first season of MTV’s, “16 & Pregnant” was very real, or as real as such shows can get, but after the first or second season, these kids who lived with their parents in trailer homes in rural areas of depressed parts of the country start showing up on camera in luxury cars…I mean…how real can their lives be now?

    Like Farrah, who moved down to Florida and got a nice apartment there but has a menial job…clearly all her “other” income is helping pay for that. Are we really teaching young girls the real world by them watching a show about being 16 and pregnant where after the first season or two of hardships, expensive diapers, trouble affording a crib, boyfriends bailing out on them, not qualifying to rent even the most rundown apartments, the new mom can suddenly afford to leave home, rent a nice apartment, drive a nice car, have a dog… If the teen girls watching are not aware of the distortion in Farrah’s life caused by being part of the very show they are watching, they will all think, “Hey…life isn’t so hard after having a baby – look at Farrah. She did it.”

    The same with “Gold Rush.” The first season was great because you knew these guys were all-in Americans who were down on their luck and making a run at finding gold. By the third season they had a fleet of trucks, loaders, diggers and could afford to mine in two different spots. I mean, c’mon. Clearly the income and influence and budget from the show is letting them become ACTUAL gold miners. So now it’s not as interesting.

    The Jersey Shore is the same way. First season was mostly real, of course as you said a caricature of their personalities. Which was only inflated every season after that and suddenly, like so many other reality shows, they started driving fancier cars and then the novelty of a bunch of middle-class Italian kids living at a shorehouse together was blown out of the water.

    Didn’t stop me from visiting Seaside a few years ago and riding in the ski lift to check out the roof and jacuzzi of the Shorehouse. Yes…I am guilty of watching Jersey Shore. At least the first two seasons. Hey…come at me bro.

    • According to dr drew the broads on 16 and preggers barely got paid by MTV. The few who seem well off now whored themselves elsewhere to make that money money (yeah yeah) and sure dr drew tells creative truth or is incorrect at times but one of those chicks did become celebrewhore and I would wager has an endorsement deal or two or three (or she got a good entertainment lawyer to get her some better money). Though I don’t watch the show what I’ve gathered of it is people mostly still living in squalor. Documentary style reality tv doesn’t pay the same way the cartoon reality on the Jersey shore does. (On that note the real world should be called previously unemployed actors world)

      • Also the continued failures from 16 and pregnant are well documented. I don’t watch but still read about what a loser a few of them are. Studies suggest teen birth rate has gone down since the debut of the show…that could be coincidence and there’s still those watching that will see it asrsinbow

      • Also the continued failures from 16 and pregnant are well documented. I don’t watch but still read about what a loser a few of them are. Studies suggest teen birth rate has gone down since the debut of the show…that could be coincidence and there’s still those watching that will see it as all rainbows and puppy dogs but it seemingly doesn’t glorify teen motherhood like I assumed it did

  2. The four of then in the pool looks like gay porn waiting to happen.

    As to the careless loose ladies. Alcohol is a magical drug. Wanting to be on tv or being on tv as an object de skank™®© combined with even the lowest level of star fuckery allows braggery to others raggedy ass friends. Plus gotta believe some of them are doing it because that’s the stage in their life right now in spite of the connection to tv cameras.

    Case in point or not but ditzy ass former intern of a seattle radio show vowed to get on the shore and she did. She was the chick that didn’t bang pauly or whomever in the first or second season but did ‘go home with him’ and she did that because she was convinced mtv would want her for a show of her own. Chick is as vapid and clueless as they come but with a touch of arrogance, think a more annoying Courtney stoudand lol.

  3. Well, women want equality…. if my girlfriend punched me I would knock her into the middle of next week. But then I would be arrested for domestic voilence, while she got off scott free.

    • Only if the arresting officers are idiots would the man be arrested after being punched by his girlfriend and doing nothing else. If the man is acting aggressively, he’ll likely be arrested alongside her. It’s highly unlikely that the man would be arrested simply because of what is in his pants when he did nothing wrong. If it’s a he-said, she-said situation and the police cannot find any evidence supporting who hit who (or even if anyone WAS hit), they usually ask one of the two to leave the home. Exception being when a child is present; in most states there must be an arrest regardless if a child is there during a suspected domestic violence situation.

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