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The Paradigm Shift

When I was thirteen, I met a boy on AOL who lived near my house.  He had long jet black hair, was really pale, and dressed all in black.  I remember him because he let me borrow his Korn CD, their first studio album from 1994.  I pretended to know who they were and to love them because I was 13 and trying to impress a guy.  After listening to it over and over again, I was hooked.  They have without a doubt been my favorite band ever since and I’ve seen them in concert 10 or 11 times.  Other than two compilation albums and a couple DVDs, I have everything they’ve released.  Last Thursday, I picked up their latest CD, The Paradigm Shift.

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I love every single piece of this CD.  I catch crap at times for being such a big Korn fan from people who think all their music sounds the same, covers the same topics, or is tired and/or boring.  And honestly, I don’t care.  Every CD they release is a different experience for me.  It’s music that speaks to me, makes me feel better, and moves me.  For me, that’s all that matters.  It’s not for you to like or understand if you don’t want to.  After nearly 20 years, their music has become a part of who I am.  They’ve been in my life for so long, I don’t know life without them.

Be it driving in the car and blasting a song or at a concert and giving myself whiplash, I feel free when their music plays.  I can let go of anger and sadness and just lose myself for a while.  There have been some royally screwed up things I’ve been through in my life that I’ve gotten through with the help of the music.  It doesn’t judge or give unsolicited advice, it simply exists in whatever way I choose it to.  It becomes very personal for me.  When I first got to see my now husband, for example, I drove home listening to a song off their Untitled album that he had burned for me.  Through tears, I listened to Jonathan Davis tell me to hold on and be strong.  In that moment, that song was for me.

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I’ve been called goth, depressed, crazy, and all sorts of other unflattering words for loving this band because of the subject matter covered in their songs.  I don’t consider myself to be any of those things.  I don’t throw on a CD and start crying and feeling horrible about my life.  I hit play and feel energized.  I feel understood.  I’m happier being the weird chick who likes Korn than being someone too afraid to enjoy an artist because they aren’t quite socially acceptable.  It didn’t matter that my mom thought it was crap music during high school because it was the reason I survived high school.  The music makes me happy, plain and simple.

My husband jokes that I only listen to Korn and a couple of other bands.  In truth, I have my preferences but listen to a large variety (mostly thanks to his vast iTunes collection that is on my iPod).  But I do tend to treat other bands and artists like a vacation spot or a little getaway.  Korn is my home and I always find myself coming back to them.  They are a comfort, they are familiar, and they never let me down.  No matter what is going on in life or in the day, no matter how hard things get or how bad I feel, I can pull up a song and for a few precious moments, I can be untouchable.

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Here are a few lyrics from the first song on The Paradigm Shift, Prey For Me.  I don’t know what it is about this song, but it’s hit me hard from the moment I heard it.  You can listen to it by clicking here.

How come what’s wrong with you,
Darling faces often with frowns,
Let’s do what devils do,
Hiding in shadows, no one’s around,
Why can’t I torture you,
Giving pain you take it away,
The little things you do,
Simply I love your evil ways,
Your ways! – (X3)

Prey for me,
I think I owe you an apology,
Somehow you bring the violence out in me,
I’m just a shell of what I used to be,
Passion is sometimes a fucked up thing for me.

This time it follows you
Nothing’s left, you’re dead on the ground,
How can I covet you,
Give you hell and you can’t be found,
My soul infested you,
Blackened thoughts they run through your head,
The little things you do,
Simply I wish you were dead,
Were dead! – (X3)

Prey for me,
I think I owe you an apology,
Somehow you bring the violence out in me,
I’m just a shell of what I used to be,
Passion is sometimes a fucked up thing for me.

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About Jamie C. Baker

“Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.” - Kevin Smith

Posted on October 16, 2013, in Fun!, Music and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

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