Advertisements

29 More Years To Go…

Sometimes I wonder if I’m meant to live in a world with other people or if my true wish is to be on a small island with only a handful of others.  My husband and I moved into a house in order to get away from cramped apartment living.  We were tired of sharing a wall, tired of people blocking our driveway, tired of kids playing right outside our back door in the shared yard, and just tired of not having a space to call our own.  Last October, we said goodbye to our townhome and hello to our house.

download

I should have expected to still run into issues, and I don’t know why I thought that all problems would vanish once the ink was dry and we had keys in hand.  We have a house full of dudes on one side of us; they have at least five vehicles, possibly six, and initially tried to make the front of OUR home their permanent parking space.  The house, at max, is a three bedroom unit.  Three bedrooms, five dudes, possibly one younger female, a few older females who come and go, and occasionally a kid or two.  One resident wears nothing but a tank top and sandals, and just about all of them act like it’s a frat house.  At least the keg is finally off the front porch.

Across the street, the frat house’s friends installed a urinal in their garage to accommodate their guests during parties.  A garage urinal, conveniently located next to the full size garage fridge and underneath the wall mounted garage flat screen.  Oddly enough, since the garage urinal was installed, they haven’t had a single drunken party.  The last was the Mayweather fight where the guests left tire marks all over our driveway as they hurried to turn their cars around and speed off home.

tn_skid-marks-301

On the other side of our home is a family with four kids, one of which belongs to the couple and three that belong to the wife/girlfriend only.  I had high hopes for them because the guy was really friendly towards my husband and the oldest son was friendly towards our kid.  Didn’t last long.  They had a party where they not only blocked off the street with flashing lights (because… they own the street?), but had drunk idiots sitting in our yard and leaving cigarette butts everywhere.  They not only lose track of their puppy in our yard, but lose their baby in it as well.  Their baby.  They have thrown balls into our house multiple times, the parents only directing them to stop AFTER we stick our heads outside.

The middle boy is the worst kind of kid and will stand in the middle of our backyard while playing catch.  After upsetting my dog (who I value more than anyone in my neighborhood), I told the middle kid “I need you to please get out of my yard, you’re making my dog upset.”  Nicer than I wanted to be since the adults were outside having a garage sale, but he moved after glaring at me a bit.  After this happens, the delusional mom approaches me and the first thing out of her mouth is “did we do something to offend you?”  Seriously, lady?  Your kid is standing in the middle of my yard playing catch.  Not on the edge, not popping in to retrieve a ball, but just standing there.  My dog is upset by this because it’s his yard.  I tell him to move, very nicely I might add, and this is your response?  It took all my self-control not to go off on this woman, who thinks her family and children are so charming, that others should feel honored to be in their presence.  Every time their dog gets loose while she plays on her phone, I wish terrible things on her.

download (1)

No one puts their dog on a leash, and we had three dogs run up on our (leashed) dog and scare him pretty good, so now he hates the site of any of those dogs.  Not that the owners care.  I hate to have to worry about my dog biting another dog while trying to defend me, then having animal control tell me that my dog is dangerous, all because some twat decided their precious pooch was too good for a leash.  I don’t want to see a dog get hit by a car due to careless owners.  Unfortunately for me, everyone else who feels the same way I do lives on another street.  My street is asshole heaven.

Maybe I’m being too picky, but we are investing serious cash into this house and really aren’t asking for much.  Don’t make the curb in front of our home into your permanent parking space.  Don’t tell your kids it’s okay to play in our yard.  Put your dog on a leash.  Don’t throw shit at our house.  Don’t leave trash in our yard.  Keep your drunk asshole friends off our property.  Don’t play cornhole on the sidewalk right in front of my house when you have room to do it elsewhere and stay out of my yard.  Understand that there are shared spaces around us that need to be respected, AND that private property should be respected even more.  If everyone quit acting like they were the only people in the entire world, got out of their bubble for a minute and thought of how their actions affect others, life would be much happier for us all.

Advertisements

About Jamie C. Baker

“Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.” - Kevin Smith

Posted on September 15, 2015, in Crazy People, Friends and/or Enemies, Kids, Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. My favorite parts, “Their baby.” and “Don’t throw shit at our house.” I need to know what the game cornhole is all about. I am a bit afraid to ask.

    Your neighbors sound like a pain in the ass. That would piss me off. Like, one neighbor….okay, you can bitch about them with the other neighbors, but to be surrounded. That sucks. Maybe they can’t afford their house or something and they will sell and people you like will move in. If you’re lucky. Or build a fence or wall around your entire property.

    The only problem I have is kids that park in front of my house to have sex since it’s a dark quiet spot – soon to be resolved with motion floodlights. They also like to eat fast food next to the wall there and place their beer bottles and trash on the wall, which falls behind it and is a bitch to clean up. So many people are such…assholes. I’d love to catch them….just once.

    Unfortunately, your situation is completely dependent on people’s skill at being polite – which they seem to be skill-less. And it seems to me we are producing more assholes than we are polite people these days.

  2. You sound like a real peach.

Have an opinion or a comment? Weigh in!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: