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Category Archives: Crazy People

My Fellow Americans

Last night, I watched Barack Obama deliver his farewell speech, ten days before Donald Trump takes office as the new President of the United States of America. I can’t believe I just typed that. The crowd chanted “FOUR MORE YEARS” and I wish it was a possibility. President Obama said:

“Yes, our progress has been uneven. The work of democracy has always been hard. It has been contentious. Sometimes it has been bloody. For every two steps forward, it often feels we take one step back. But the long sweep of America has been defined by forward motion, a constant widening of our founding creed to embrace all, and not just some.”

He kept things classy; when he said that “in 10 days the world will witness a hallmark of our democracy,” the crowd began to boo. He urged them to stop, saying that the peaceful transfer of power will occur, just as former President Bush did for him eight years ago.

President Obama said that he left the stage even more optimistic than when we started. “Let me tell you, this generation coming up — unselfish, altruistic, creative, patriotic — I’ve seen you in every corner of the country. You believe in a fair, and just, and inclusive America; you know that constant change has been America’s hallmark, that it’s not something to fear but something to embrace, you are willing to carry this hard work of democracy forward. You’ll soon outnumber any of us, and I believe as a result the future is in good hands.”

President Obama asked us to believe, but not in his ability to bring about change. He asked us to believe in our own ability. “I am asking you to hold fast to that faith written into our founding documents; that idea whispered by slaves and abolitionists; that spirit sung by immigrants and homesteaders and those who marched for justice; that creed reaffirmed by those who planted flags from foreign battlefields to the surface of the moon; a creed at the core of every American whose story is not yet written. Yes, we can. Yes, we did.”

Re-reading this amazing speech brings tears to my eyes once again. I am terrified of what is to come once Donald takes office. This is a man who has no idea what he is doing. He is appointing people who want to tear apart all the work that President Obama has done in his years in office. This is a man who is grossly unqualified for the position he is about to fill. Can you imagine Donald delivering the speech that Obama did? Neither can I. He can’t do it.

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I am trying to believe. I am trying to have hope. But it’s difficult to see when we’re losing a fantastic President and replacing him with a bloated orange sack of hot air. Donald got elected because he knew how to rile up a crowd. He could say the right things to incite a riot, and people bought into it. The American citizens elected Hillary Clinton, but the system elected Donald. And now we’re stuck with him for the next four years, unless an impeachment occurs and succeeds.

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I am a woman. I am a minority. I support LGBTQ+ rights, am pro-choice, and am everything Donald hates in a person. This is a punch in the gut to know that we’re going from such a classy President to one who is simply an ass.

Half of the country voted this circus peanut into office, but I hope that they realize their mistake and take President Obama’s advice. We have a voice. We have the power to change things. We don’t have to sit back and try to survive the next four years; we can speak out and take action and do our best to keep this train from derailing. We have to. America won’t survive if we don’t. I’m absolutely terrified, but I have half the country on my side, and together, we can and we will bring about change. In all sincerity, thanks Obama. Your shoes are impossible to fill and you will be missed more than you know.

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Don’t Blame The Undertaker

I was searching Google high and low for all things wrestling in order to get some ideas for Face To Heel, and I came across a strangely titled article. “Father Who Killed Son With Wrestling Move To Serve 30 Years.” According to the report, Alonso Castillo, a 26 year old man, pled guilty to second degree murder this August and was recently sentenced to serve 30 years for killing the 6 month old baby.

 

While caring for his son, Draven, Castillo decided it would be appropriate to wrestle with the infant when he had become a bit fussy. The report says “in a move from his favorite wrestler, The Undertaker, the defendant lifted Draven into the air and slammed him into the ground.” The child suffered a fractured skull and traumatic brain injury, which caused his death two days after the incident. Mother, Paige Hydle, was not present during the time of the injury.

Neighbors stated that after Castillo dropped Draven, he came to their apartment and told them that his son was not breathing. He then “distractedly watched” as they called for help and attempted CPR. The neighbors stated that Castillo kept repeating over and over that he was in trouble due to a trespass warning from apartment management. Apparently Castillo had thrown a chair through a glass window while arguing with Hydle.

 

 

The investigation showed that Draven had “multiple bruises, a fractured arm, and a cut tongue.” Castillo’s original excuse was that he was imitating The Undertaker’s Tombstone Piledriver (though the actual move is not mentioned by name in any news stories). When officers questioned Castillo a second time, he confessed to slamming Draven on the ground because he wouldn’t stop crying.

The media, as they do, latched on to The Undertaker detail and ran with it. The story became less about an irresponsible idiot murdering an innocent baby and more about the fact that imitating Undertaker caused a death. This had nothing to do with wrestling. You can’t physically perform that move with a baby. A preteen, sure, but not a baby. No, this is the story of a man who couldn’t handle himself and threw his child into the ground, then attempted a pitiful cover story when he realized that he had gotten too rough.

It’s typical; something awful happens and the go-to reaction is to find something familiar and easy to blame it on. “Guy pretending to be Undertaker” makes more sense than thinking a father would be so awful to his own child. But it happens, and we need to quit making excuses for these people and allowing them to hide themselves behind public figures, video games, or anything else. Don’t blame the Undertaker. Blame Alonso Castillo. He’s the one spending the next thirty years in jail.

Stand With Orlando

I am still having a rough time wrapping my mind around what happened at Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida. More and more states are legalizing same sex marriages, which gave me so much hope. More and more people are able to transition to the gender they identify with, with the assistance of doctors, family and friends, which is amazing. Businesses who refuse to serve same sex couples are usually greeted with outrage instead of congratulations, which is exactly how we should react. It seemed like we were getting somewhere.

Out of nowhere, on a night where friends, family members, old and young, of various genders and orientations were having fun and enjoying life, one horrible person destroyed everything. Innocent people were murdered, others injured. A former safe place was riddled with bullet holes. The wrong kind of history was made thanks to the death toll.

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Some people want to blame terrorism. This would be a mistake. Idiots like Donald Trump want you to believe that this was an evil Muslim who came to this country with the goal of destroying America. Not the case; the shooter wasn’t attacking America, he was attacking the LGBTQ community. I don’t care if he did it out of self hatred or for religious reasons or because society still doesn’t fully accept certain lifestyles; the point is, he targeted this community out of hatred.

If you don’t care about the shooting at Pulse, you are part of the problem. “But I’m straight and don’t believe in homosexuality, so it doesn’t affect me.” Simply because you don’t believe in someone’s lifestyle doesn’t mean that you should feel justified in ignoring their suffering and silently condoning their slaughter. We’re not savages; we should value every human life regardless of whether or not we agree with their personal choices. We should not get to turn our backs on this type of tragedy, especially one as horrifying as the shooting at Pulse.

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Thanks to the actions of one horrible person, who thankfully is no longer around, people around the country have been afraid to celebrate Pride month. People who I call friends are afraid of their lives. Let me repeat: THEY ARE AFRAID FOR THEIR LIVES. All because of who they prefer to spend their time with. There are not enough of us fighting for the rights of our peers. We need to be more vocal. We need to make it clear that the ones filled with hatred are the ones in the wrong, not our LGBTQ community. We need to do more, and we need to be better. We can’t keep allowing this to happen.

 

 

Dear Neighbor

Dear neighbor,

It was brought to my attention that you are a regular visitor to my page, so I figured that warranted your very own post.  I discovered that you enjoy reading my material after my young son notified me.  How did he know?  Well, it turns out you enjoy gossiping with your own young child about people you don’t know and things you don’t understand, telling your child Lord knows what about me.  Very mature of you to teach a child that talking poorly about people so openly, especially people you don’t know, is an acceptable thing to do.  And before you call me a hypocrite, this is my page where I get to say what I want, and the things here aren’t shared with my ten-year-old, because I’m a good parent.

It’s a bit confusing how you can dislike someone you’ve never bothered to speak to and who has never done anything to you.  We gave up waving and saying hello to you a few months after moving in because your phone and/or cigarettes always seemed to hold your attention better than the world around you.  Even though you ignored our attempts to be friendly, we still waved here and there.  I can only assume that the reason you decided to act like a bratty teenager was because of my personal nightmare neighbor who has nothing better to do than call the police on me for parking in my driveway, threaten me with physical violence, and then spread nonsense down the street to make herself look like a wounded princess.  It would make sense that two weak-minded people would band together though, so I can’t say that I’m surprised.

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I have never complained to you or elsewhere when your kids are screaming at each other at all hours, nor have I complained to you or elsewhere when your dog gets loose in surrounding yards.  I don’t “have it out” for people I live near, spending all my free time plotting ways to make their lives miserable.  You want to know why that fragile Princess is complaining about me?  Because she’s wrong, I am right, and she can’t stand it.  She hates being proved wrong.  She hates the fact that I enjoy my privacy and don’t want her kids using my yard and driveway as a playground, or bouncing balls off of my house.  She hates the fact that she failed as a pet owner and we weren’t afraid to call her on it (I mean, who leaves a dog out in the cold, freezing rain with the lights off? That’s just cruel).  She hates that I don’t buy her “charming victim” act like so many other people do.  She hates that her boyfriend’s “we were here first” argument is bullshit that I’m not standing for.  If complaining about me makes her feel better about her miserable existence, I say go for it.  And you too!

Should I feel honored that you come here to read my page day after day?  I’ve personally never been so curious about a stranger, especially one who lives in such close proximity that I could pop my head outside at any moment if I had a question, that I’ve hopped on Google to find them.  I’ve certainly never been so obsessed that I’ve found said stranger’s online information and then proceeded to spend hours upon hours reading through it.  And I’ve definitely been so crazed about that stranger that I’ve discussed them with my young child, teaching that child that being a petty gossiping fool is a good way to live life.  If you haven’t noticed, I enjoy keeping to myself.  It’s only when provoked, I have to come out of my cozy little world and set things straight.

I tried my best with that little Princess who thinks I’m the devil.  I let a lot of things slide, telling myself that it’s not worth bringing up and to let it go.  That was until Princess accused me of yelling at her kid, approaching me by saying “did we do something to offend you?” and refusing to listen to anything I had to say because her precious children would never lie when they are caught doing something wrong.  The other shoe dropped when Princess and her Knight in Shining Hoodie had their drunk party guests on my property, leaving cigarette butts and other trash in my yard.  Quite honestly, I should have called the police, considering how loud they were and how many new colorful words my son could hear through the closed window, but I let it go.  It was a learning experience; I learned that it was in my best interest to stop trying to be nice to someone who has zero respect for other people if they aren’t interested in kissing her entitled prissy ass.

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There are many differences between you and I, but one key difference is that I am minding my own business as best as I can.  I’m not seeking out people to annoy, I’m not teaching my children to be dicks to others, and I’m not posting petty nonsense on a neighborhood website.  I’m not the one allowing her children to bother other neighbors.  I’m not the one having loud parties.  I’m not the one littering my cigarette butts and beer bottles everywhere.  I’m not the one letting her dog bark outside unattended while I update my Facebook.  I’m not the one blocking mailboxes or parking in front of other people’s homes.  I’m not the one acting like a pathetic unpopular high school girl by spreading lies like a disease throughout the neighborhood in a sad attempt to make myself feel better.  I’m not the one obsessing over other people, staring at my phone or laptop for hours as I try to delve into their lives through whatever I can find online.  If you come into my personal space without permission, I take steps to remove you and then I go about my business.  Simple as that.

Thankfully, my child is wise enough to recognize stupidity when he sees it and isn’t about to buy into your crap.  Your decision to involve your child, and in effect involve mine, fortunately managed to slide right off of his back because he is smart enough to see how petty and childish your behavior is.  Getting a preteen to fight an imaginary battle for you?  Come on now.  Taking sides in an imaginary battle for the street?  Ridiculous.  I can only imagine how you must live the rest of your life if this is how you act towards someone you don’t even know.  Looking back, I’m grateful you never waved back to us or engaged us, because I would not be caught dead associating with someone on your level.  I prefer to stay out of the dirt.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, and I hope it encourages you to find a healthier hobby and get the fuck off of my website.  Perhaps you get a library card and find some good books to read?  Maybe take up crocheting?  Go on a nice long walk?  Find something better to do with your time than discuss my family and poison your child’s mind.  Mind your own damn business, because that’s what I’ve been doing and it works wonders.  You are barely a blip on my radar, and once I post this, you will again cease to exist in my world.  You are less than a gnat to me.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  Neighbors don’t all have to be best friends, we just have to respect the laws and boundaries and personal space of others.  Stay out of my orbit and I stay out of yours.  Simple.  Oh, and next time you see your privileged princess friend, blow her a kiss for me, will you?

 

p.s. if you’re thinking of retaliating on the neighborhood page, think again.  The site is VERY clear on what constitutes harassment and I will not hesitate to report you and contact the proper authorities in order to shut you down. You want to have a say? Say it right here or grow a pair and come say it to my face. 

Make Donald Drumpf Again

“If you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them, would you? Seriously. OK, just knock the hell … I promise you, I will pay for the legal fees.  I’d like to punch him in the face, I tell ya. I love the old days. You know what they used to do to guys like that when they were in a place like this? They’d be carried out on a stretcher, folks.” Donald Trump

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When I first heard that Donald Trump was planning to run for President of the United States, I had a good laugh about it.  The thought of that floppy-haired old man running the country instead of telling people they’re fired in between bankruptcies was seriously comical.  I was looking forward to seeing how he was going to campaign because it would be entertaining for us all.  But then, something unexpected began to happen.  People started to take Trump seriously.  Supporters started to emerge from the woodwork and proclaim that Trump was the hero America needed.  That he would indeed make America great again.

John Oliver delivered a masterful piece on Trump, AKA Donald Drumpf. The custom hats are sold out, and the video of Last Week Tonight received over 20 million YouTube views in about 10 days.  Oliver discussed the power of Trump’s name, how it is the cornerstone of his brand, but countered with how his “real” name, Drumpf, is much less magical.  He drove a lot of points home, the key one being that we’re getting far too caught up in the name and the myth of instant success that is associated with Trump.  We’re overlooking the fact that the man is, for lack of a better term, full of shit.

 

Trump’s run for President isn’t funny anymore.  Our modern version of Hitler seems to have successfully brainwashed thousands upon thousands of people, enough to win state after state as he plows his way through the country.  Weak-minded people, mostly white folks in their 40s and higher, are promising to vote for Trump during rallies as their hold their hands high in the air.  His support system grows stronger every time he appears on TV to yell about immigrants or his “meager” beginnings with a million dollars in his pocket.

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This isn’t a matter of not liking a candidate because I disagree with their views, it’s a matter of not liking a candidate because he’s a colossal dipshit who shouldn’t be allowed to manage a game of Sims, nevermind an entire country.  Donald Trump is a confused little boy whose parents told him he could do anything he wanted when he grew up, not knowing that their little boy would take that to the letter as an adult and try to buy a country.  He enjoyed fear mongering.  He’s a racist, and a sexist.  He doesn’t know dick about what it takes to run a country.  Hey, neither do I, which is why I’ll never try to get that particular job.  It isn’t for everyone.

We are a country obsessed with celebrities.  We make nobodies famous through reality television and YouTube.  We created President Trump because we have a fascination with idiots and memes and GIFs, and Trump makes for good entertainment.  We care more about upcoming SNL skits about Trump than we do about the fact that he will likely burn down America within his first week.  We created the Jersey Shore, we are responsible for the dozens upon dozens of Kardashian shows, we ruined MTV, and we continue to obsess over the frivolous while ignoring reality.

Our current reality is that Donald Trump has a damn good chance of becoming President of the United States.  Luckily for us, a good chance is very different than a secured victory.  We still have time to make this right.  We can put a stop to this cartoon world and right the ship before this vulgar human gets anywhere close to swearing in.  We need to save this country from becoming little more than a running joke.  We need to give a damn about more than cat videos and face swapping and actually see how harmful Trump truly is.  Time is running out; this train needs to be derailed immediately.  We need to decide whether we want to live somewhere that we can be proud of or live somewhere resembling a preschool playground.

TRUMP ON WOMEN:  

  • “You know it really doesn’t matter what they write, as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” 
  • “There was blood coming out of her eyes… blood coming out of her… wherever.” 
  • “Women; You have to treat them like shit.”

TRUMP ON THE MILITARY:  “26,000 unreported sexual assults [sic] in the military — only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?”

TRUMP ON FORMER PRESIDENTAL CANDIDATE CARLY FIORINA:  “Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?!”

Friendly Neighbors Strike Again

The weekend before Thanksgiving, my lovely neighbors called the cops on us, resulting in a cranky female telling us to leave each other alone.  Apparently, leaving us alone meant sending me a long email, as I received this on Wednesday before Thanksgiving:

“I would really like to know what your problem is with [my boyfriend] and I? If you had a problem with the dog then come saying something like you preach in your rants on this site.
Also I guess since your claim against me to the animal management didn’t go thru it was time to go to HOA.
Really what is it any of your business or how does it affect you if I play fetch with my dog over in the common area where there are no houses? She isn’t in your yard nor does she use the restroom in your yard. Perhaps it’s easy for you to take your dog for a walk but if you haven’t noticed I have a toddler that I can’t very well walk both of them not that I owe you any explanation.
And really complaining about a work truck that sits out front well that’s like the pot calling the kettle black considering that is where tie husbands car has sat several nights and that’s exactly where yours was just at.
On top of telling the police your issue is with our dog so that’s what you are video taping well if that’s the case your “criminal trespassing” letter is a joke and has nothing to do with my dog.
Bottom line is you don’t have to like us but let’s be clear you don’t even know us but we do have to be neighbors and being a neighbor doesn’t mean trying to control the way we run our household nor our animal.
My animal is taken care of and is health and happy.
She is a puppy and with that comes being outside and she is gonna bark and whine because she always wants to play. Again I really owe you no explanation.. So do me a favor and stay in your own business and out of mine. I can find petty things to complain about everyone around here but I have way better things to do.
So a little advice it’s not like we are renting this house and I am not going anywhere anytime soon so we can make this civil or you can make it how you are now.”

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She’s quite the wordsmith.  Yesterday, she came banging on our door at 10 in the morning, stating she wasn’t trespassing on our property because there were no signs posted about our front porch being private property.  She refused to leave, we called the police, and eventually got some good guidance on how to deal with her and her idiot boyfriend.

Today, we discovered that one of our cars had been vandalized.  This is after my brakes mysteriously disintegrated in the driveway, and after my tires were mysteriously flattened.  The oil line was mysteriously cut; oil splatters on the drive, but not the amount of oil present that you would expect to leak out of a car.  The only thing that kept me from calling the police was that we don’t have a lick of proof to show who did this.  We have nothing, and it’s frustrating beyond belief.

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I’m not an idiot, nor am I paranoid.  I am 100% certain that they screwed with our cars.  The damage always occurred less than 24 hours after they got angry at us, the guy would be at work early the day we discovered the damage, and the woman would be away from home for the day.  They have yelled at us for where we park because apparently we keep their kids from playing in our driveway when we use it to park.  You know, the thing driveways are made for.  I am beyond livid that this happened and that they’re just going to get away with it.

Until we can get the security cameras installed and finalize a few other things that we were directed to do by the police, we’re basically helpless.  These assholes won.  I simply cannot understand what would compel a person to do this.  What if my husband had driven that car and it malfunctioned and he died?  What if my brakes had failed while I was driving and I got into an accident?  They don’t care.  They didn’t think.  All they gave a shit about was getting even at all costs.  I’m open to any advice anyone has at this point.  I’m tired of feeling helpless and I’m tired of being the victim.  I’ve had enough.

Friendly Neighbors, Part 2

My next door neighbors and I will never be friends, not after the “man” of the house calling me a bitch and telling me to “move my fucking car” so his kids, nieces, nephews, and drunk friends have freedom to roam all over my front lawn and driveway.  I’ll never warm up to the woman who tries to goad me into an argument on a community message board instead of admit that maybe she shouldn’t allow her kids to hit baseballs into my siding or let them stand in the middle of my backyard, making my dog go crazy by our back door.  I can’t get along with people who treat an animal like an accessory instead of a living being, thinking throwing it a few treats is equal to care and love.

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My husband and I have given them notice that they aren’t allowed on our property.  He transcribed the lovely verbal exchange we had and sent them a copy, along with a copy to the HOA & sheriff.  We’re past the point of repair because there is clearly no reasoning with someone who refuses to admit they may have been wrong, choosing instead to blame everyone else.  I am the bad guy in this situation because I felt it was wrong to leave a puppy in the freezing rain for 90 minutes without even a light on out back.  I’m in the wrong for not wanting kids playing catch in my backyard because it upsets my own dog.  I’m the asshole for not wanting drunk idiots standing in my front lawn, dropping cigarette butts everywhere.  I am clearly a monster.

The weird thing is that it wasn’t always like this.  The man of the house helped my husband out with some yard issues, the girlfriend and I exchanged pleasantries here and there, and the first time they had a party, the guy gave us a heads up since there was going to be kids and cars everywhere.  It was nice.  Then, the second party rolled around and we had people all over the back yard.  Then the third party had drunk idiots in our front yard and being unreasonably loud so my kid couldn’t sleep.  The second they blocked off the street during that third party, I knew the niceties were over and done with.  There was zero effort to contain their guests or kids and zero concern about anyone around them.

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I am a person who values and respects the personal space of others, and I expect the same be done for me.  I don’t chain my dog up outside unsupervised so he can bark his head off and give everyone a headache.  I don’t park my car in front of other people’s homes or mailboxes unless I am visiting a friend and have no other option.  I don’t yell and scream while running up and down the streets at midnight.  I try to be as unnoticeable as possible.  Because I don’t live on a college campus and because my neighborhood is filled with families, I expect a certain type of behavior from my fellow neighbors who were deemed adult enough to buy a home in the first place.

Last Sunday, my neighbors called the cops on my husband and I.  This stemmed from me recording a video of their dog barking while they ignored it.  I was standing in my kitchen to do this with the screen door closed; not outside, not hanging out a window, just standing in my kitchen.  Our neighbors have made it a new habit to examine our house anytime they come outside to throw food or water at their poor barking puppy, so the guy noticed me standing there and yells “REALLY?”  The lady comes out soon after, running her mouth about how animal control says it’s totally okay to leave  dog all by itself.  [Sidenote – I don’t give a shit what animal control says; you’re a shitty pet owner if you think leaving a dog alone outside for most of its life is an okay thing to do]

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Getting back to the cops now.  The woman who showed up had the worst possible attitude ever; she rolled her eyes at my husband, said she didn’t want to be there, and was the true definition of a cunt.  She accused us of trespassing, then tried to take what we said and twist it into some weird admission of guilt.  I’m half convinced she was a friend of our neighbors with her piss poor attitude.  I don’t know what they told the cops to get them to come out, but as far as I am aware, I’m allowed to stand in my kitchen and do whatever the hell I please with my phone, or any other electronic device I have handy.  The Corporal I spoke to later than night didn’t have any issue with me videotaping something from inside my house, which makes me even more curious what these people told the cops to get them out there.

You may think that this is nothing more than an exchange of petty behavior between our two homes, but I don’t see it that way.  We put up with a lot of bull before contacting animal control, and that was done not out of spite, but because a young puppy was sitting in the dark, cold rainy temperatures for 90 minutes straight.  If they hadn’t purchased a dog so they could then ignore said dog, all of this likely would not have happened.  If anyone knows of a strange loophole in the law that would allow me to steal their dog and adopt her out to a good home, please let me know.

At this point, the only thing I can do is ensure I document everything and keep the HOA and law enforcement up to date on what is going on.  Copies of the recording have been distributed to the appropriate parties, which includes the guy calling me a bitch and trying to get me to fight him.  I hate having to do this, and I hate that I can’t ever be the kind of person who shuts up and accepts whatever shitstorm comes their way.  I would love not to care and just wander through life oblivious to the assholes around me.  But I’m not now, nor will I ever be, that person.  My husband and I busted our asses getting into this house and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let someone walk all over me because they were “here first, bitch.”

Friendly Neighbors

My husband and I have been in our new home for a little over a year now, and I couldn’t be happier about leaving the world of renting far behind me.  The downside to home ownership is that, unlike apartments, your neighbors remain pretty consistent.  Move in next to a lovely family, and you’ll have an easy ride.  Get stuck by a bad neighbor and you can expect to deal with nonstop nonsense for the next 30 years.

While our home was being built, I was excited about the existing neighbors, who had a child around the same age as my own.  He was a very polite and well-spoken boy who lived there part time (divorce/separation having half his time with his bio-dad).  Other than seeing some pretty ugly drama between the woman next door and her ex, things were pretty quiet.  Even the first time they threw a party, the gentleman next door came over to let us know there would be noise and cars, and I really appreciated that.

The second time they had a party, there was no friendly warming before the bouncy house was inflated.  There were drunk people sitting in our front yard, littering cigarette butts everywhere. There were kids in our driveway.  The man of the house (who I christen Pussy Whipped) blocked off the entire street with flashing lights so the dozens upon dozens of kids could run around screaming.  Their house is at the end of the street next to an empty cul-de-sac and giant field, yet they HAD to play cornhole right at the edge of our property, resulting in people all over our yard.  Not cool.

In the spirit of neighborly love, we let it go.  When one of their children was standing in our driveway, shooting darts at cars, we let it go.  When they lost their baby in our yard because the lady of the house (who I’ve named HorseFace) was too busy Facebooking on her phone, we let it go.  When their new puppy continuously got loose and came scratching at our back door, we let it go.  When their child started picking on my kid and stole his toy, we let it go.  When HorseFace confronted me about “kicking her kid out” of my yard, asking me if she did something to offend me, I let it go.  I didn’t want to let it go, seeing as how her stupid kid was standing in the middle of my yard to play catch and upsetting my dog, not just retrieving a ball like she said he was, but I did.

Things got to be too much when HorseFace and Pussy Whipped suddenly decided that having a dog was too much work.  They began chaining the puppy outside around 6:30am and leaving her outside for most of the day.  The puppy would be outside in the pitch dark and cold until nearly 10pm, barking nonstop while my kid tries to sleep.  On the weekends, we would be woken up early by the barking.  Just like the postal service, that puppy would be outside in rain or shine.  Alone.  A couple weeks ago, they moved the puppy’s chain so she’d be further away from the back door (which also meant she would be in two yards that didn’t belong to her)  After hearing the poor dog bark to be let inside for NINETY MINUTES STRAIGHT IN 50 DEGREE WEATHER AND POURING RAIN, I contacted animal services so they could do a wellness check.  I don’t care who you are or what you have going on, there is no excuse for neglecting your dog.  And that is exactly what leaving your dog out in the rain while you’re comfy inside would be called.  Neglect.

Yesterday, we saw a message on NextDoor, a community message board for my neighborhood.  It was titled “Friendly Neighbors” and read:  “Don’t we all feel like if a neighbor has an issue with a pet in the neighborhood that for whatever reason is bothering someone as a community they should be an adult and go and talk to the other neighbor before they call animal management for instance?  Just really annoyed that we have neighbors make complaints on a puppy for barking but they have a dog as well that barks as well!”  HorseFace’s strong suit is not the English language.  Or punctuation.  Now, I do agree that talking to a neighbor should be the way to go if it’s an issue of noise.  This was not.  This was an issue of neglect.  A puppy needs attention and direction, not a chain and alone time for hours upon hours.  I would never call animal management out of spite.  I called because that dog needed help.  As far as MY dog barking, of course my dog barks!  Every time their puppy comes by our door, my dog barks.  What my dog does not do is get left outside unsupervised to bark his head off until someone gives a damn.  Idiot.

An awesome person on NextDoor replied to HorseFace saying:  “If a dog is barking that much, that means that it wants attention and the owner is not taking responsibility for it.  Yes, no owner is perfect, my dog barks too, but when a dog is left outside barking non-stop, that means the owner is being ignorant.  People also have to remember to be responsible pet owners.”  This is my new favorite neighbor.  HorseFace replied:  “Well barking was not the complaint and she only barks when she is wanting back in.  We pay plenty of attention to her as well as play with her.  The people even make it a point to park across the sidewalk so my kids can’t ride their toys in front of their house so I don’t believe there is a true issue except they are simply being childish.”  At this point, we are enraged.  I park my car at the end of my driveway not to spite her kids (honestly, who they hell accuses someone of doing that??) but to stop cars from turning around in my driveway.  The cul-de-sac is not paved, so people use my driveway, resulting in headlights shining through our windows at all hours and people leaving skid marks everywhere.  We had drunk people leave tire tracks all over our drive as they peeled out after a party, and we had a motorcycle do donuts in the street and our drive, marking it up.  That aside, HorseFace (and half my street) parks in the exact same fashion, completely blocking the sidewalk.

My husband has had it at this point, so he says we need to go over there and talk to them face to face (I recorded this conversation so they couldn’t try and spin it later).  As he rings the doorbell, HorseFace says “it’s them, I know it’s them” before opening the door.  My husband greets them calmly and asks if there is anything we need to talk about.  HorseFace says “I don’t know, you guys seem all of a sudden, don’t seem to wave, don’t seem to care, we have a complaint on the dog, you’re our only neighbor.”  Pussy Whipped is standing behind her, holding their baby.  My husband let them know that of course we filed a complaint on the dog because she was out in the rain for an hour and a half.  HorseFace says BULL!  My husband says it’s definitely not bull, as we live right next door and can see/hear everything.  At this point, they’re talking over each other, HorseFace saying we should have come and talked to them, my husband saying it’s not his job to convince people to be good pet owners.  Pussy Whipped and HorseFace both then tell us to go right ahead and call the police/animal control/etc.  So I guess now it’s okay to call?  It’s hard to keep track.

My husband says “if you have something to say, don’t go online and say it.”  Pussy Whipped then says “I tell you what, get your fucking car out of the way, how ‘bout that?”  Cute how he grew a pair while not noticing that his car is blocking the sidewalk as we speak.  Pussy Whipped then accuses us of blocking the sideway to keep kids away.  My husband explains it’s because our driveway is the go-to for cars to turn around in because they don’t want to use the pile of rocks that is our temporary cul-de-sac.  HorseFace starts complaining about her kids having to go out in the street, seeming to forget the countless times her kids are playing in the middle of the road, ignoring cars that come through, while unsupervised.  Pussy Whipped brings the topic back to our dog barking, where I step in and say the reason he barks is because they moved their dog’s chain so that the puppy can come into our yard.  Pussy Whipped then says he can’t go outside without my dog sounding like he’s going to tear through the wall and attack him.  For those of you who have seen my dog, do you see him capable of breaking through the walls of our house and attacking our retarded neighbor?  No?  Me either.

HorseFace continues to deny that their puppy was outside in the rain for so long, or that they neglect her at all.  I need to stress that this puppy is continuously left outside along in godawful weather and/or in the dark.  Not once have we ever seen this dog be taken for a walk; she’s just thrown in the backyard.  I guess to their credit, they do have a dog bowl sitting out there for her, which is helpful when she’s left alone for hours on end, barking her little head off.  HorseFace THEN says that animal management never even came out, which is strange considering her post about animal management coming out.  At this point, my husband gives up and we walk away while HorseFace yells out the door about how childish we are.  Pussy Whipped comes out of the house now; my husband is on the other side of our driveway and I am barely in my own yard at this point.  She’s still yelling at us, so I lose it a bit and call her out on having drunk idiots in my yard and driveway.  She yells back about me being mean to her poor little angel boy (because saying verbatim “hey, can you please get out of my yard, you’re upsetting my dog” is PURE EVIL).  The same boy who crushed another neighbors young tree while playing in their yard.

So NOW, Pussy Whipped says “we were here first, bitch.”  I start walking back to my house, saying “fucking asshole” as I turn around.  He THEN says “Yeah, do something!”  I point out that he is holding a baby while trying to antagonize me.  Idiot.  He yells “yeah, you’re so tough!” and accused me of starting shit.  While holding a baby, Pussy Whipped keeps trying to  get me to “do something.”  Me, not my husband; the guy wants to fight a chick.  As much as I want to punch this bald asshat square in the face, I go back inside my house instead so we can laugh at them in private.  Big shocker as well; for the rest of the day on Sunday, they let their puppy back in the house as soon as she started barking.  Weird how that works.

I don’t regret calling animal management for one second because the end result seems to be that now the puppy will be let back in when she barks instead of left outside for hours unattended.  With winter coming and the temperature dropping, I’m happy that she won’t be suffering.  I mean, her owners are idiots, but outside of that, she will be fine.  Now, I might have been more willing to go and speak to her about the puppy if her reaction to the whole kid in the yard thing had been more positive.  Not once did she acknowledge that the kid shouldn’t have been in someone else’s yard; her first reaction was to accuse me of having a problem with her family.  That isn’t what a rational adult does.

Since I’m not dealing with a rational adult, talking is pointless.  The three minutes we spent “talking” to them yesterday proved that even more.  There is no reasoning with HorseFace, a woman convinced her children are so charming, anyone would be honored to have them running around in their yard.  There is no reasoning with Pussy Whipped either, a man who hides behind his wife and child, threatens a woman, and thinks that being somewhere first means you own the entire block.  The air being let out of two of my tires this morning could be a weird coincidence, but I’m getting as much as possible on record now because people who use the “we were here first” argument are the same people petty enough to damage someone’s property.  I need a lawyer.  And a shotgun.  And a ten foot fence.

29 More Years To Go…

Sometimes I wonder if I’m meant to live in a world with other people or if my true wish is to be on a small island with only a handful of others.  My husband and I moved into a house in order to get away from cramped apartment living.  We were tired of sharing a wall, tired of people blocking our driveway, tired of kids playing right outside our back door in the shared yard, and just tired of not having a space to call our own.  Last October, we said goodbye to our townhome and hello to our house.

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I should have expected to still run into issues, and I don’t know why I thought that all problems would vanish once the ink was dry and we had keys in hand.  We have a house full of dudes on one side of us; they have at least five vehicles, possibly six, and initially tried to make the front of OUR home their permanent parking space.  The house, at max, is a three bedroom unit.  Three bedrooms, five dudes, possibly one younger female, a few older females who come and go, and occasionally a kid or two.  One resident wears nothing but a tank top and sandals, and just about all of them act like it’s a frat house.  At least the keg is finally off the front porch.

Across the street, the frat house’s friends installed a urinal in their garage to accommodate their guests during parties.  A garage urinal, conveniently located next to the full size garage fridge and underneath the wall mounted garage flat screen.  Oddly enough, since the garage urinal was installed, they haven’t had a single drunken party.  The last was the Mayweather fight where the guests left tire marks all over our driveway as they hurried to turn their cars around and speed off home.

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On the other side of our home is a family with four kids, one of which belongs to the couple and three that belong to the wife/girlfriend only.  I had high hopes for them because the guy was really friendly towards my husband and the oldest son was friendly towards our kid.  Didn’t last long.  They had a party where they not only blocked off the street with flashing lights (because… they own the street?), but had drunk idiots sitting in our yard and leaving cigarette butts everywhere.  They not only lose track of their puppy in our yard, but lose their baby in it as well.  Their baby.  They have thrown balls into our house multiple times, the parents only directing them to stop AFTER we stick our heads outside.

The middle boy is the worst kind of kid and will stand in the middle of our backyard while playing catch.  After upsetting my dog (who I value more than anyone in my neighborhood), I told the middle kid “I need you to please get out of my yard, you’re making my dog upset.”  Nicer than I wanted to be since the adults were outside having a garage sale, but he moved after glaring at me a bit.  After this happens, the delusional mom approaches me and the first thing out of her mouth is “did we do something to offend you?”  Seriously, lady?  Your kid is standing in the middle of my yard playing catch.  Not on the edge, not popping in to retrieve a ball, but just standing there.  My dog is upset by this because it’s his yard.  I tell him to move, very nicely I might add, and this is your response?  It took all my self-control not to go off on this woman, who thinks her family and children are so charming, that others should feel honored to be in their presence.  Every time their dog gets loose while she plays on her phone, I wish terrible things on her.

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No one puts their dog on a leash, and we had three dogs run up on our (leashed) dog and scare him pretty good, so now he hates the site of any of those dogs.  Not that the owners care.  I hate to have to worry about my dog biting another dog while trying to defend me, then having animal control tell me that my dog is dangerous, all because some twat decided their precious pooch was too good for a leash.  I don’t want to see a dog get hit by a car due to careless owners.  Unfortunately for me, everyone else who feels the same way I do lives on another street.  My street is asshole heaven.

Maybe I’m being too picky, but we are investing serious cash into this house and really aren’t asking for much.  Don’t make the curb in front of our home into your permanent parking space.  Don’t tell your kids it’s okay to play in our yard.  Put your dog on a leash.  Don’t throw shit at our house.  Don’t leave trash in our yard.  Keep your drunk asshole friends off our property.  Don’t play cornhole on the sidewalk right in front of my house when you have room to do it elsewhere and stay out of my yard.  Understand that there are shared spaces around us that need to be respected, AND that private property should be respected even more.  If everyone quit acting like they were the only people in the entire world, got out of their bubble for a minute and thought of how their actions affect others, life would be much happier for us all.

Boobs

Yesterday, a random woman on Twitter felt the need to educate me on my hypocrisy regarding breastfeeding in public.  According to her, moms should be allowed to do it wherever and however they see fit.  This stemmed from a comment I made earlier in the day on Twitter.  It was not directed at her or hashtagged, so I assume she was just bored and searching for people to annoy.

What I said was “This whole right to breastfeed in public thing drives me nuts thanks to moms who have no respect for others & think they’re entitled.  Yes, you should be able to breastfeed in public, but YES you should cover up your jugs & not be an obnoxious twat about it.”  This was in reaction to a news story about mothers who harassed a business owner after he had requested a mother cover herself in his restaurant while breastfeeding.  The mother in question, according to all accounts, made no effort to hide her bare breast in full view of the patrons.

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There is a big difference between a mother trying to feed her child and a woman using her child to make a point to whoever happens to be watching.  Just because you are still breastfeeding your child doesn’t mean you are entitled to be disrespectful to others.  Having your breast fully exposed in public, especially in places with a captive audience such as a restaurant, is not okay.  I’m not suggesting moms go hide in the restrooms or in their cars to breastfeed, but I do feel they should make an effort to cover up.

My sister-in-law used one of those massive tent-like covers that completely masked everything.  I’ve seen other moms carefully use a blanket to hide certain areas so you can tell what is going on but it’s not in your face.  My issue is with the women who feel that breastfeeding is something that needs to be announced to the world.  A child should not be used as part of some twisted statement.  Even if a business owner wrongly shoos you away while you rightfully feed your child, you should have enough decency to not react by turning your child into a tool for revenge.

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Feeding your child does not make you special.  Providing the most basic of needs doesn’t make you better than anyone else or entitled to receive all sorts of special treatment at the expense of others.  Why should I have to hide my son’s eyes because some woman decides to whip out her breast at Applebee’s?  Why can’t she have respect for those around her and do it discreetly?  Why am I wrong for wanting mothers to make an attempt to not flash their milk jugs to the world?

I’m not a prude, but I’m also not okay with seeing random tits everywhere.  The “it’s natural” argument is lost on me, as a lot of things are “natural” but shouldn’t be blatantly done/performed in public.  If your true goal is to feed your baby in the best possible way, then do it.  But when your breastfeeding becomes not only an inappropriate public display, but a tool to shame mothers who choose formula and a tool to harass businesses, you’ve crossed a line.  Your baby is not a prop.

29th April 2014 PHOTO CREDIT SHOULD READ: MATTHEW PAGE Sports Direct Clumber Street, Nottingham.  Mums held a protest at Sports Direct after a woman was asked to leave the shop for breastfeeding her child.

I suppose I was called a hypocrite by random Twitter lady because I support breastfeeding in public, but I don’t support certain ways it is done.  What needs to exist is a mutual respect for each other by mothers and business owners/patrons/etc.  Mothers need to make an effort to cover so we’re not seeing nipples galore and everyone else needs to be understanding about the fact that babies need to eat on their schedule, not anyone else’s.  Moms should not be forced to hide in a dirty public restroom to breastfeed and I should not have to see nipples and giant engorged bare breasts while shopping at Target.  It’s give and take on both sides.

According to my new Twitter BFF, covering hinders lactation.  So because a small percentage of babies don’t like any type of cover whatsoever, all mothers should be able to skip using it?  I have yet to hear a good argument as to why I shouldn’t demand a bit of modesty from nursing moms.  I have yet to hear a rational reason why this angry group of breastfeeding mothers insists that frontal exposure is not only necessary to properly breastfeed, but is something the rest of us should simply deal with.  I have yet to hear a good reason why breastfeeding has to be an odd political statement instead of an act of providing nourishment to a baby.

Breastfeeding alone does not make you more woman or more mother than anyone else.  You might be the loudest person in the room but volume has nothing to do with your value.  If you want to be a good mother, be a good mother.  If you want to be respected when you feed your child in public, do so in a way that doesn’t also make you a public nuisance.  If you just want to get your knockers out and yell at passerby, no one is going to respect you or listen to a damn thing you say.  There is a way to make this whole thing a nonissue, once people get off their soapboxes, quit using babies as protest signs, stop shaming mothers, and start acting like decent human beings.

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