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Call Her Caitlyn

I’ll be honest, I am 100% tired of hearing about Bruce Jenner’s transition to Caitlyn, his new identity now that he is publicly out as a her.  The story was out in the public eye long before Jenner made the official announcement, thanks to the Kardashian’s reality show and fondness for living life like an open wound.  Countless tabloids reported how Bruce was shaving down his Adam’s apple, growing his hair, and taking female hormones in preparation to become a woman.  Photos of him wearing a dress were illegally obtained and briefly posted.  Eventually, he gave a heartfelt interview to tell the world about his transition in his own words and on his own terms.

Now, the Vanity Fair photos have been released in preparation for the July issue that will feature Jenner on the cover with his new name and as a woman.  He has received surgeries, including breast augmentation, and facial reconstruction to appear more feminine.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was looking at someone who was born a female  Since the photos surfaced, all everyone is talking about is Caitlyn.  People are excited and call her a hero, and people are disgusted and want him to piss off.

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I was born a female and am quite happy being female, so I cannot begin to understand what it must be like for someone to be born in the wrong body.  The positive part of this is that people are talking.  Sadly, the Kardashians are the biggest names out there when it comes to reality TV, so the reach that this story gets is massive.  Caitlyn has forced everyone to acknowledge that transgender individuals can be anyone and can come from anywhere.  It is in our face whether we like it or not, and that is something I am happy about.  The LGBT community isn’t going to vanish, so anything that helps get more people talking and more people exposed is welcomed by me.

That said, I 100% understand why certain people are angry about Jenner being hailed as a hero and talked about as if she is a Goddess.  She is not the first to make this journey and certainly won’t be the last.  She has the money to get the surgeries while others do not.  She gets the glamorous photo shoot while others get ignored.  It’s unfair.  On the other side, people that consider a hero to be something other than a person getting a sex change, I see your point of view as well.  I honestly can’t decide if what Jenner is doing is a brave step towards an honest life or some insane publicity stunt (thanks, Kim).  If living honest is heroic, we all have the capacity to be a hero, so I’m not quite comfortable with that title while also not opposing it.

Here’s the bottom line though; Jenner can do whatever she wants to do and it doesn’t matter one little bit whether you like it or not.  We all have the right to be happy, so long as our happiness doesn’t harm others or break laws.  We have the right to pursue that happiness, and as long as we don’t overstep the obvious boundaries, no one has any room or right to tell us we can’t.  Not all of us are born to fit into the “normal” mold and I think it’s fantastic that we have resources to help us find our true place in life.  I can get fake boobs if I want, and so can Caitlyn.  Jenner isn’t my hero, but I’m glad he decided to publicly become a she.  Now it’s on us to either accept that there are people like this in the world or to choose to remain close-minded and hateful.  I hope everyone chooses wisely.

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Beauty

I will never have a thigh gap because my thighs are far too busy being awesome to worry about staying two inches away from each other at all times.  I will never have perfect beachy curls because ponytails are preferable over spending two hours fussing around with my hair.  I cannot recreate Emma Stone’s red carpet cat-eye without making myself look like a raccoon.  I am not 100% cellulite free and never will be, even if I lose ten more pounds.  I’m slightly too short.  If not for Victoria’s Secret, I’d never have cleavage; even with the help, I don’t have much to speak of.  Like most people, I can rattle off a long list of things that can be called faults about my physical appearance.

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None of us are perfect.  Hours spent getting hair and makeup professionally done, the magic of photoshop, and perfect lighting can definitely give us the illusion of perfection though.  Tricks and tweaks take beauty and turn it into something wholly unattainable.  Various entertainment sites give us “Celebrities Without Makeup” articles to help us feel better, but when faced with perfect magazine covers of smiling faces and flawless skin, it’s hard to remember what is real and what is manufactured.  We see Heidi Klum’s perfect body a week after she’s had a child and wonder why we’ve been unable to shed the baby weight after months of effort.  We get roped into this crazy idea that the celebrity image is both something we are able to attain and something we should be actively striving for.

Even when the rich and famous are taken out of the equation, we find other people to compare ourselves to and are left feeling as if we don’t measure up.  I’m guilty of looking at strangers, friends, and even family members and wondering why I can’t either replicate a certain look, carry off a certain style, or possess a certain feature.  While it’s rare for me to do it now, it still happens every so often.  On the flip side, I’ve had people throw me compliments while simultaneously insulting themselves by throwing in the “why can’t I” comment.  It was flattering to me at one point in my life, but when it happens now, I just find it sad.

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Society is getting pickier by the day about what real beauty is and who qualifies as a true beautiful person.  As the world around us narrows its gaze, we narrow our own and become hyper-critical of ourselves, driving ourselves crazy in the pursuit of someone else’s idea of perfection.  Kim Kardashian gets all the attention in the world because of her “assets,” so we kill ourselves doing squats and go broke using creams in order to force our own body do something it cannot.  We put so much time and effort into obtaining a piece of this person and a chunk of someone else that we forget what’s truly important:  simply being ourselves.

It sounds cliché because it is, but that doesn’t make it any less true or any less important.  Beauty isn’t something that should be so specific in definition that it only includes a small, elite group.  Beauty should be something that we are able to find in anything and anyone.  Regardless of what the popular standard of beauty is, every single one of us should be able to look into a mirror, smile at our reflection, and consider ourselves to be a beautiful person.  No one should be made to feel less than anyone else, especially over some superficial nonsense like hairstyle or dress size.

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I encourage each and every one of you to knock it off from this day forward.  If you’re like me and unable to pull off a crazy pair of short shorts, stop trying to wear something that isn’t right for you and go find something that is.  Spend five seconds mourning the fact that you and I can’t share Taylor Swift’s wardrobe and let’s move on together.  Put yourself together every morning in your own image, not the one on the cover of Cosmo.  Take all the time you used to waste on worrying if you’re too skinny or too fat and use it to do something positive for yourself.  Whether it’s a trip to the spa or a trip to the firing range, get out and do what makes you feel amazing.  This is something I still haven’t fully mastered myself.  I get insecure at times; we all do and we all will in the days to come.  What we need to do is accept these feelings for what they are, and let them go as quickly as they come.  We can’t control the person we are, but we can control the way we feel about ourselves.

You Never Know

Phillip Seymour Hoffman passed away on Sunday of an apparent drug overdose.  He was found on the floor, needle still in his arm, and surrounded by bags that either contained or once contained heroin (according to reports).  He was only 46 and such an amazing actor; he will definitely be missed by the film community and by fans.

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The thing that we need to remember is that we don’t know PSH or other actors that have broken our hearts with untimely deaths (Paul Walker is the other recent death that comes to mind).  We love the movies they star in, the characters they play, the interviews they give, and the way they make us feel.  We can recite every single one of their lines in specific films and we know their life stories almost by heart from what we’ve read.  None of that means we know the person at all.  I was surprised that PSH’s overdose was from heroin use; I never would have suspected that he would use that drug.  To me, he doesn’t seem like the type of person to go that route, which I’m sure is an opinion shared by others and which is a shining example of how little we know.

It’s healthy to mourn the passing of celebrities; even though we don’t actually know them, they become part of our lives through their work.  That said, it’s wrong to mistake that relationship for anything other than something one-sided and superficial.  PSH wasn’t our friend, our brother, our colleague.  He wasn’t our neighbor.  He may have favorited something you posted on Twitter, but that doesn’t make him your buddy.  His job was to entertain us, and he was fantastic at it, but one’s job does not always give an accurate reflection of a person, especially when the job is to turn into different people for every new project presented.

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Being an actor, or any other type of celebrity, does not make a person invincible or untouchable.  Fame and money are not cure-alls for what ails you.  We don’t know what any celebrity goes through, not even the Kardashians who live life like an open wound.  We see edited tidbits or exaggerated tabloid gossip that we often take too literally and mistake it for something it’s not.  We take exclusive interviews and Wikipedia articles as gospel, assuming we truly know the person because we’ve memorized details about their personal lives and childhoods.  It’s wrong to look at someone like PSH, see an amazing career, and assume that they are carefree and immune to tragedy.

I’m very sad that PSH passed in an untimely and terrible way, and I will miss seeing him in films in the future.  On the bright side, he was able to make his mark during his time on this Earth and he leaves behind quite a legacy on the silver screen.  Let’s focus on the talent he was instead of wasting time trying to pick apart the why and the how.  Finding out whether or not he was troubled or an addict will not change what happened and will not change who he was to us as fans.  Let the family and real friends mourn in peace and let’s remember PSH as the brilliant actor he was.

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Gay Okay

I recently wrote about Jason Collins, who decided to come out of the closet and let the world know he is gay.  The news was received with mixed reactions and I received a couple of comments on that entry stating that we shouldn’t care, it’s not newsworthy, and that it’s not that big of a deal.  I’ve heard discussion after discussion about Collins from people who say it’s not a big deal but who then go on to speak ill of the man for his decision to publicly come out with this news.  I made the decision to write about it after seeing some negative feedback regarding his public statement because I did not understand why there was such a negative backlash.

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Anyone in the public eye, be it an athlete or actor or musician, is forced to live their lives under a microscope.  With social media outlets like Twitter spreading news like wildfire and gossip sites like TMZ working overtime to get exclusives, nothing is sacred anymore.  As a gay public figure, you almost have to break the news yourself in order to have the story told properly.  Coming out is a very personal thing and it’s only fair to allow someone to do it their way rather than have Perez Hilton do it for them.  Collins decided to come out his own way so that he can go on and live his life without fear of US Weekly posting photographs and speculating until they’re blue in the face.

If you disagree with the news Collins broke, you have to also disagree with all the other coverage of people’s personal lives that we drown under each day.  You can’t go crazy over the latest photos of Amanda Bynes, watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and Google Chris Brown’s latest antics during your lunch break, then get mad at a gay athlete coming forward.  The news is no different from any of the other personal fluff that sneaks onto the main page of CNN.com.  If there wasn’t such a demand for updates on the personal lives of public figures, we wouldn’t see so much of it.  It’s unfair to keep silent about the majority of it, but get up in arms when someone decides to come out of the closet.

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Before I continue, I need to clarify that this is not a personal attack on anyone.  This is about society in general.  This is about the people who like celebrity pages on Facebook, follow their favorites on Twitter, watch reality programming and E! news, and read entertainment sites and magazines in their free time.  This is about those same people who can’t get enough of Lindsay Lohan’s latest drama, but throw a fit when someone decides to be honest about their sexuality.  You can’t have it both ways.  What sense does it make to be fine with the gritty details of your celebrity crush’s personal lives but be angry about someone making the tough decision to publicly come out as gay?

I know more details than I care to about the Teen Mom’s from MTV, not because I’m interested but because it’s near impossible to escape the coverage.  One has a heroin addiction, one is a porn star, one is in jail; the details are everywhere and no one seems to have a problem with that.  If you want to complain about someone exposing too much of their personal lives to the general public, complain about that.  Don’t complain about a person respectfully breaking the news that he prefers the love of another man.  Collins didn’t come out in an inappropriate manner, he didn’t demand anything from us, he simply stated a fact about his life and did it his own way so that no tacky news outlet could do it for him.

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A few people I’ve spoken to have said that we should have a “who cares” attitude when it comes to Collins and others who decide to come out, and I absolutely agree.  We should accept the news and move on without obsessing over it and turning it into something ugly.  But that “who cares” attitude must extend outwards to all the other garbage as well.  We can’t demand to move on from a celebrity coming out, then turn around and obsess over the latest details about Ryan Lochte.  “Who cares” needs to apply to it all in order to make it effective.  And the group of people who claim they don’t care but who continue to obsess need to wake up and realize how hypocritical they are being.

I’m thankful that I do see a few people who have honestly adopted the “who cares” attitude and who aren’t still calling Collins a disgrace to the sport.  I’m thankful for the people who have respectfully accepted the news and moved on.  Unfortunately, those people are the minority.  There are still far too many who are up in arms about it or who have moved on from his story only to dive into numerous other stories that are lacking in substance and importance.  A public figure is still just a person; they may have a talent that makes them famous, but that doesn’t make them special and worthy of this much of our time.  If you don’t like these kind of stories turning into national news, then stop making it into news.  It’s not news without an audience willing to soak it all in; refuse to indulge and it’ll vanish as quickly as it arrives.

Eat This And Pop That

We live about a mile from my husband’s mother and another mile away from the center of the city where the majority of the grocery stores, gas stations, and restaurants are located.  It makes it convenient to both visit with family and to run our errands and grab a bite to eat.  Earlier in the week, my mom-in-law invited us out to the newly remodeled Chicago’s Pizza for dinner.  I should say rebuilt, as they knocked down the entire building and started from scratch.  Chicago’s has been a favorite of my husband’s, so I was pretty excited to try them out and have a bit of family time.

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We arrived just as the buffet was in the middle of the set-up, so a few items such as spaghetti had yet to make it to the line.  I made a plate for my boy first so he could get started, as he is the world’s slowest eater when he’s in an environment where even the smallest distraction exists.  After setting him up and ensuring he was settled in with my mom-in-law, I returned to the buffet line in search of my own dinner.  While grabbing some pizza sauce and cheese sauce for my breadsticks, I was blocked from the sticks themselves by a large pair of women who were excited about the spaghetti that had just been set out next to the sticks.  Since there was not an inch of room to spare around these two women, I patiently waited for them to pile their plates high.

As the pair added cheese and extra sauce to their pasta, they continued their animated discussion on some new pills that they purchased last week.  Both were excited to “finally try them out,” raving about how incredible their results would be.  The talk continued as they moved along and I was able to grab the last of my meal.  It turned out that the pills in question were some “miracle” diet pills they had purchased at Wal-Mart.  The two were convinced that these pills meant that they could eat whatever they wanted to, so long as they took two pills with a glass of water with their insanely large meal.  That night was the night they were beginning their “diet” and they chose a pizza buffet to kick off their weight loss.

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I’m no stranger to the difficulties of maintaining a healthy weight and staying out of double-digit pant sizes.  I was up to a frightening 170 pounds at one point and had to work hard to get that weight off.  It’s still something I have to keep an eye on and even now, I’m working to drop about ten annoying pounds.  I have gone down the diet pill road many times myself.  Right now, I take green tea supplements and various vitamins to boost my metabolism.  I also know damn well that pills, vitamins, and other similar substances that promise weight loss aren’t going to do jack unless I eat properly and ensure that I work some sort of physical activity into my day, every day.

Sensa, a weight loss product that has the user sprinkle the drug on their food before consumption, is one of many products that gives consumers the hope of a miracle cure.  They even allow you to try it for free if you go to their website and give them some information.  Their website also states the following:

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This is what people such as the women at the buffet focus on; no counting calories and no dieting.  Eat what you want, use our product, and lose weight.  It gives the impression that the drug is what does all the work while the user can continue to indulge and lounge around.  In Sensa’s defense, their site does state that their product should be used in conjunction with a healthy diet and exercise plan.  This recommendation is included with just about every weight loss product out there and is also the most ignored bit of information; it’s either skimmed over or missed entirely as the consumer eagerly jumps into their new, quick and easy weight loss plan.

Obesity is a serious problem in our country.  People are getting bigger and instead of striving to get healthy, they demand that the world around them work harder and do more to accommodate their expanding waistlines and enormous bulk.  People who simply eat too much are claiming that they have a disease, an illness that causes their obesity, which is an insult to those who truly do have ailments that cause excessive weight gain.  In the building where I work, obese people consider themselves handicapped and will use the handicap line, beg for handicap parking, and use scooters to get around the building rather than take a walk.  Heaven forbid anyone say something negative about an obese person; we will no longer stand for this type of bullying.  We have to accept and love the body we are in and respect the choices of others, not bring them down and make them feel poorly about their weight.  Right?

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When you take the mentality the general public has about obesity, plus the mentality the obese have about themselves, and throw in some pills that can fix it all in a snap, it’s no surprise that the women at the buffet were expecting a miracle.  Our always advancing world has made us all a bit lazier than we used to be, and that laziness extends into our health and our maintenance of our bodies.  When you present the average person with a choice between going to the gym three times a week or taking a supplement twice a day, chances are the supplement will win out almost every time.  Why else would anyone choose to take Alli, the amazing weight loss pill that can also make you crap yourself:

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It’s sad that people continue to fall for the shiny outer covering of these so-called miracle diet pills and supplements, especially considering how much money these companies are making off of gullible people who are fond of the easy routes in life.  It’s a bit disturbing to think that the women I overheard at the buffet are just two in a sea of many who are currently out there, chowing down and expecting a pill or a powder to do all of the work for them.  It’s pretty pathetic that we have come to the point where we are too lazy to get up and do something, even if it’s as small as taking a 15 minute walk or choosing the stairs over the elevator.  It’s even worse that we can’t stop pigging out for a week or two, choosing instead to ingest mystery drugs to shed unwanted fat.

We are in control of our bodies, and with that control comes responsibility.  That means not relying on other people to fix problems that we can and should fix ourselves.  We should want to ensure we are consuming the proper nutrients to get our metabolism moving rather than popping a Stacker II because of the promises it makes.  We should incorporate physical activity into our daily lives because it’s good for us, not dismiss it in favor of whatever pill the Kardashians are promoting these days.  If these pills worked in the way they portray themselves to, we’d all be skinny little things.  Have some sense, and not some Sensa.

He Is Dating WHO?

This morning, as my husband and I were driving to work and scanning through radio stations, we caught the middle of a conversation about Tim Tebow.  Apparently, he is dating Camilla Belle, who the female DJ claimed enjoys preying on virgins.  The DJ was mortified by this and incredibly upset, as Tebow is her future husband.  Of course he is, darling.  Of course he is.

She seemed to be absolutely livid about his dating choices, a reaction I’ve seen and heard from many people; on the radio or television gossip shows, in the office, from friends, and things overheard in public.  It’s a sentiment I can identify with, but one I haven’t personally experienced since reaching adulthood and realizing that thinking Jared Leto would one day fall in love with me is beyond foolish and nothing more than a schoolgirl’s silly dream.  It also came from realizing that the crush was based on a carefully marketed image and the bits of desirable personality from characters they played, the appeal of fame and being on a famous person’s arm, and other superficial things that have nothing to do with who a person truly is.

It’s silly to be happy that Taylor Swift is single again or depressed that Justin Timberlake is now married.  These are people we don’t know and will either never meet or only meet in passing by luck or by chance.  Even if we do manage to get a handful of minutes with this special person, the chances of them seeing us as anything other than an admiring fan are slim to none.  It’s difficult enough to date non-celebrities in our section of the world; are people even thinking of the challenges that come with dating someone in the spotlight with an incredibly busy schedule who has adoring fans willing to throw themselves at them around every corner?

There is a sizable difference between having an innocent crush on a famous person and having an obsession that consumes more of your life than it has a right to.  If you are so caught up in the life of a celebrity that their love life has the power to anger you, upset you, or bring you honest joy, what hope do you possibly have of obtaining and maintaining a real relationship, romantic or otherwise?  How will you handle your ex falling in love with someone else or your best friend finding love while you’re still spending nights alone?  How can you have a healthy and balanced life when you’re so invested in the lives of others?

The curiosity is fine; it’s normal and expected to have some wonder about the pairing of Kim Kardashian with the off-the-wall Kanye West.  It’s a whole other to hate Kim and wish harm upon her because you believe Kanye can do better or you’d like him for yourself.  Pangs of jealousy are normal as well; it’s fine to wish you could trade places with someone for a day so you could experience life with the person you have your eye on.  However, when this jealousy consumes you, it becomes extremely unhealthy and can be quite dangerous, as can be seen from stalkers who land themselves in the news and from over-the-top websites run by rabid fans.

This fascination with the personal lives of celebrities is the reason quite a few people are still in business (gossip columnists, photogs, etc.) and the higher our demand gets, the more useless information will be quickly obtained and pumped out.  It’s not that I wish these people out of jobs, as the information itself isn’t harmful.  I just wish people would use this information a tad more responsibly.  Whether or not Justin Bieber broke things off with Selena Gomez should not be a topic that is weighing heavily on your mind, holding the ability to affect your mood, whether your day is good or bad, or whether or not you should carry hope in your heart.  It does not matter.

Spending time on celebrity gossip, like everything else in life, requires balance and must be prioritized properly.  It should be close to last on your list of important things in your life.  It should not take up bucketloads of your time.  It should not escalate to the point where you are attacking someone’s girlfriend on Twitter because their boyfriend is YOURS and NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE HIM!!!  It should be something you take in, ponder or discuss briefly, and then put out of your mind and move on with your day and your life.  It’s better to waste time on activities that you can own and call personal, private and loved instead of wasting time thinking and stressing about a life that has never and probably will never come close to touching your own.

Lovely Lady Lumps

A few days ago, I posted my list of most desirable males in response to AskMen.com’s less than acceptable list of desirable females.  Their list was awful, mostly in how high certain lovely ladies were ranked, but in part by some of the women who made the list to begin with.  To be fair, I would also like to post my top ten list of most desirable females.  Let’s keep the lesbian jokes to a minimum, shall we?

 

10.  Michelle Williams.  I want to call her a MILF, but I also feel guilty doing so because she looks so damn innocent to me for some reason.  Despite some of the roles she’s played, I don’t see her as sexy.  She does however embody true classic beauty.

 

9.  Avril Lavigne.  She loses some hot points for dating half a Kardashian, but you can’t deny that this chick is cute.  She has the most amazing lips.  I’m generally not a fan of tons of dark eye makeup, but she pulls it off quite nicely.

 

8.  Jody Lyn O’Keefe.  I’m half afraid of her due to her performance on Prison Break, but damn if she doesn’t look hot as hell holding a gun.  The combination of dark hair with her vivid blue eyes is quite striking.

 

7.  Kat Von D.  Her taste in men is terrible as of lately, but I imagine her exes always feel a twinge of regret when they see her looking sexy as hell on reruns of LA Ink or in ads for Sephora.  Plus, like I’ve said before, I’m a total sucker for tattoos.

 

6.  Michelle Rodriguez.  She can kick my ass and yours and look sexy as hell while she does it.  She looks like the kind of woman whose beauty is effortless; I’m fairly certain she looks perfect from the second she rolls out of bed.  Yes, I am jealous.

 

5.  Mary Louise Parker.  She’s got a killer body, long legs, beautiful eyes, warm smile, and quite the in-charge attitude on Weeds.  I would love to steal her wardrobe and her hairdresser, although I doubt I’d look half as fabulous as she does.

 

4.  Olivia Wilde.  I’m very let down that she chose to leave House, but it’s been nice seeing her on the big screen.  Even if the movie is terrible, she gives the audience something quite nice to look at.

 

3.  Whitney Mixter.  My favorite chick from The Real L Word on Showtime.  She’s confident and sexy and seems like she’d be a blast to hang out with.  I’m not the biggest fan of dreads, but from what the girls say on the show, her hair always smells fabulous.

 

2.  Noomi Rapace.  She’s as talented as she is beautiful; she stole every scene in the Millennium Trilogy and she was breathtaking in Sherlock Holmes 2.  She also seems very down to earth and almost unaware of how strikingly beautiful she really is.

 

1.  Emmy Rossum.  Absolutely gorgeous; you could get lost for days in her eyes.  Whether she’s fully made up for an event or wearing sweats with her hair in disarray on Shameless, she is amazingly hot.  I would kill for her legs.

 

Honorable Mentions:

Natalie Portman; she displays zero sense of humor when Ricky Gervais teased her at the Golden Globes, and that’s a turn off.

Mila Kunis; she’s hot, but every time she speaks, I picture Meg from Family Guy

Scarlett Johansson; going from Ryan Reynolds to Sean Penn?  Really?

Rosario Dawson;  She was adorable in Clerks 2 and seems very fun-loving and carefree

Emma Stone; would’ve listed her, but she tops enough lists as it is

My Hopes Were Kar-dashed Away

October 31st, the day when we should be overloaded on all things Halloween quickly became the day we nearly overdosed on Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.  It bled into the first of November, I’m still choking on it today, and I suspect it’ll be invading our space for weeks to come.  Things Longer Than Kim’s Marriage has been trending on Twitter for a couple of days now and people are posting and reposting jokes at her expense.  On the other end, some have been questioning whether or not they will be able to sustain a relationship if someone like Kim can’t hold it together.  Radio DJs on nearly every station have been speculating about her marriage and upcoming divorce between nearly every song.  No matter what the opinion is, no one is being shy about expressing it.

Kim is famous for being famous.  Everything she’s accomplished stems from the fact that she was “discovered” due to her sex tape and the obsession about her and her family that followed.  This level of fame brings with it a feeling that we know who she is as a person and gives us the freedom to pass judgment and make statements as though we are one of her confidants.  I’m one of many who is patiently waiting for the entire Kardashian clan to vanish into the background because I’m overly exhausted about constantly hearing about people who don’t matter to me and who really shouldn’t matter in the first place.  I’m not a fan of Kim and the previews alone for their show on E! makes me cringe, so please don’t mistake the following as the words of someone who respects, admires, or harbors any positive emotion or thought for her.

Kim’s marriage to Kris wasn’t the shortest marriage in the history of celebrity nuptials or among the rest of us and it won’t be the last quicky marriage we hear about on the entertainment pages.  People get married every day for all sorts of reasons, hopefully one of which is love, and they separate daily as well due to a variety of factors.  It’s a romantic idea that marriage lasts forever and I hope it does in my case, but marriage has a 50/50 chance of ending in divorce, which has touched nearly every family in some way.  You would think that with divorce being as common as it is, we wouldn’t be so obsessed over these two people making the choice to separate.

It shouldn’t be anyone’s concern why they separated or why they married to begin with.  I saw one Twitter post that claimed the pair made $250,000 for every day of their marriage, proving the reason they wed was for profit.  Even if that’s true, it’s no one’s fault but ours for letting it happen.  If we didn’t buy every magazine with her wedding photo on it and if we didn’t DVR her wedding special to watch over and over again, those things wouldn’t be profitable.  It’s unfair to be angry at someone making money off of their wedding when we’re helping fund it with our purchases and other ways we seek out exclusive information about it.  Some people claim they married solely for attention.  Also our fault for giving them more attention than is deserved.  Some say they rushed into it.  Maybe they did, and maybe it’s none of our business.  I moved nearly 1000 miles to be with my husband after spending only 48 hours with him and we were married within 2 months, so far be it from me to judge people for rushing.  Nearly all of us are guilty of doing the same thing at one point or another, be it with a relationship or a large purchase or an extravagant vacation or any other seemingly large commitment.

Even if Kim and Kris decided to wed for purely selfish and self-serving reasons that had nothing to do with love and the intent to spend their lives together, in no way does their activity have a negative effect on the institute of marriage.  My marriage isn’t cheapened by their activities.  This broken union shouldn’t become part of the fight to legalize same sex marriages.  All arguments claiming that they destroyed the sanctity of marriage are just silly, for lack of a better term.  Yes, it’s very unfortunate that same sex marriages can’t occur countrywide, but you can’t bring that into the Kardashian fiasco.  She’s allowed to get married as often as she wants to any guy she feels like walking down the aisle with because the law allows it.  She didn’t get married as a slight against the gay community and it’s ridiculous for people to be up in arms and bring the same sex marriage debate into this short-lived union.

I get that this whole mess of marital bliss was sensational and juicy and a great talking point for anyone with an audience, but let’s be objective for a minute and ask ourselves if it’s really that big of a deal.  The largest effect that Kim and Kris tying the knot has had on my life is this blog, as this is the most time and energy I’ve spent on their union since whenever they started dating.  If Kim gave birth to a three-headed baby with superpowers or if Kris was actually a robot, then I could definitely understand the amount of attention and speculation this short marriage is getting.  Since neither of those are true (unfortunately) why do we care so much?  They got married, big deal.  Oops, it didn’t work and they’re separating, big deal.  It’s not as if they had children who are going to be affected by mommy and daddy going their separate ways.  None of us bought them a wedding gift that we now want returned to us.  The only way on Earth this can affect any of us is if we allow it to.  Seems easy to avoid.

The worst offense so far and the clearest sign that we all need to take a deep breath and shut up about this is the statement Rob Delaney made.  He claims that Kim should be sued, along with Comcast and E! and others, for promoting and profiting from a sham marriage.  The words of this comedian are probably in jest, but it’s quite possible that Delaney does in fact feel this way to some extent.  The site that reported his statement then claimed the marriage made us look like idiots and goes on to ask its readers if they think a lawsuit is in order.  So now we should debate over whether or not the cash Kim and Kris made should be paid to the general public or donated to charity?  Are you kidding me?  I’m beginning to give up hope in society having any intelligence left in it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I propose that we grab a hold of our dignity while we still can and let this failed marriage die in the hands of the people who entered into it and not allow it to be slowly dissected on our television screens and Google searches.  Let us take a brief moment to have our final say, be it on Facebook or Twitter or just yelling out your bedroom window, and let us be done with it.  Let’s allow ourselves a moment of common sense so that we can realize that a marriage and a divorce is far from breaking news and is not worthy of this much of our attention and valuable time.  And can we please finally admit as a society that banging on video and leaking it to the public shouldn’t result in your entire family becoming famous?

Typical Or Over The Top?

Yesterday I saw an article about everyone’s favorite teenager, Courtney Stodden.  It stated she was banned from Facebook for inappropriate pictures.  The page has since been reinstated and Facebook has issued an apology, but the initial reasoning for her getting the boot was because she is a minor and her pictures were simply not okay for a 17-year-old to be posting.  Here’s an example:

The second one contained the caption:  “Sensuously straddling this pillow as sweet fantasies tenderly flutter like butterflies throughout my entire being. ;-)”  If you’ve had the pleasure of reading her Twitter feed, you’ll know that most of her sound bites are in that type of odd alliteration with overly sexual overtones.  Her Twitter account has been mocked by many, done best by Joel McHale, but for the most part it’s all in fun.

To clarify, I am not a fan of Courtney.  That being said, I think it’s absolutely ridiculous what people are saying about her, mainly on her Facebook page.  Some comments include “bitch you gotta dumbass smile on your face. and i would eat your dogs,” “She really seems into herself. I can’t stand people like that. If she’s saying that she’s oh so beautiful, why didn’t she pick a better looking man to be with? Just saying. At any rate, this bitch makes me sick,” “butterfly feelings??? maybe you need another hit you puta,” and “haha sucha stupid bitch! i wanna know what surgeon you went to bc aint it illegal to do that shit to kids? haha. im sure you have to be 18. hahah FAKE ASS BITCH!”

Yes, I laugh at the girl when I see her on TV (mainly only on The Soup) because she tries too hard and it comes across as very comical, plus I’m almost always watching her on a comedic program.  I giggle at her antics in the privacy of my home and see nothing wrong with making a comment or two about her on Twitter or any other of my personal sites.  What I find sad and pathetic is that hundreds of people are purposely seeking her out on Facebook and posting horribly rude comments about her on her numerous photos.  These folk are going out of their way to sift through her pictures and comment on each one and sometimes comment on the comments.  Even an unemployed single childless person MUST have something better to do than waste time defacing someone’s Facebook page.

I remember being 16 and 17, regardless of how old my husband says I am.  I thought I was hot as hell and I enjoyed getting attention from the opposite sex.  Had MySpace been around back then, I probably would have posted what I thought were semi-sexy pictures.  If Twitter was around, I could see myself posting flirty comments.  It’s part of being a teenager girl and regardless of what anyone says, I think it’s perfectly normal.  The photos Courtney posted are no different from what a model her age would have in her portfolio or in a magazine.  Her tweets, while silly, are simply her way of getting attention and feeling sexy.  And it works; you can’t deny that she is great at getting people to talk about her.

Not many people are waiting until adulthood to throw away their V-card anymore; kids are discovering their sexuality early in life and are finding easier ways to express it given all the various social networks at their disposal.  I’ll probably find it to be a big deal when it’s my son wanting to violate a cheerleader, but in general I don’t see an issue unless statutory rape is a factor.  Courtney is married and legally allowed to bang her uncomfortably older husband all she wants.  She’s a public figure and can post as much nonsense as she pleases.  With fame comes both positive and negative attention, but there’s a line between simple criticism and obsession.  If you’re trolling her Facebook page and trying to make her cry with your words, I think you can guess which category you fall into.

Guys, when you bash a female for expressing her sexy side, you come off as bitter that you’ll never be able to bang her.  Ladies, it’s a bit worse with you.  Women are petty and jealous and will backstab another chick at the drop of a hat; it’s the reason most of my friends are guys and have always been.  The women attacking Courtney are portraying themselves as fat and/or ugly women who are angry and jealous that they’ll never have her body.  They seem bitter that they don’t get the kind of attention she does, angry that they aren’t famous, and overall just utterly pathetic.  Having an opinion is one thing, but seeking someone out to insult them is just tacky.

There are a lot of people, famous and otherwise, that I think little of and I’m not shy about commenting on it.  That being said, I have never stooped so low or been so down on myself that I’ve thought to seek out their websites or social networking pages and publicly insult them on their own turf.  Being able to do something doesn’t translate into meaning that the activity should be done.  I think Kim Kardashian is a silly twat with nothing intelligent to say and nothing good to offer the world.  I’ll say it to anyone who asks, but I won’t flood her Facebook wall with my personal wishes that she’ll fall of a cliff because it accomplishes nothing positive for me; it makes me look like an ass and it only adds to the generous amount of attention she already receives.  Celebrities are like the boogeyman, ignore them and pretend they don’t exist and they will eventually go away.  The more attention you give them, the longer they stick around (thanks a lot, TMZ).

I say this not as a fan of Courtney and her “talent” or “beauty” or whatever else we’re meant to enjoy about her.  I appeal to you as a person who is exhausted with the barrage of celebrity news that clogs up news stations.  A person who is tired of nearly every magazine cover being dedicated to the latest celebrity mishap or scandal.  Someone who has had enough of reality stars gaining fame for all the wrong reasons.  I come to you as a simple woman who misses the time when the world cared about more important things than whether or not JWOWW got surgery or if Ashton really did have a 4-way with a bunch of blond chicks behind Demi’s back.

It’s one thing to admire celebrities, it’s a whole other to obsess and saturate our lives with them to the point that news outlets are poised and ready to attack 24/7 in order to give the public the most up to the minute information on what they are doing, down to the type of toothpaste they use.  Kill the demand for information and you’ll find that people like Courtney will fade into the background.  Hate on people all you want, but the most productive thing you can do if you truly are sick of hearing and seeing them is to sit back and do nothing at all.  Let them wilt away and die just like a plant without water, to resurface 10 years later only for a brief appearance on one of those Where Are They Now shows.  And… go!

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