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We Need To Talk About Kevin

Being a parent of a child who isn’t quite old enough to stay home unattended means that my husband and I don’t have the most thrilling social life in the world.  Unless my mother-in-law is free and well rested, we stay home while the rest of the world gets to run wild and free.  As a result, it’s rare that we get to the movie theater; we generally save our movie outings for things we absolutely cannot miss and things that will no doubt be spoiled for us on Twitter if we don’t get in early.  We Need To Talk About Kevin was one of those films I wanted to see badly, just not bad enough to catch it in theaters.  Thankfully, my husband spotted it on one of our movie channels and recorded it for us to watch.

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Based on a novel by Lionel Shriver, the film stars Tilda Swinton as Eva, the mother of a troubled and strange boy named Kevin (Ezra Miller).  [SPOILERS]  We see Eva in the present day, living alone and shunned by the community, as she tries to cope with the ruined life that is her new reality.  Through her memories, the audience is shown Eva’s family from the moment she becomes pregnant with her husband Franklin (John C. Reilly) up to the time her life fell apart.  As a baby, Kevin fills the home with his shrill cries, never giving his mother any peace as she tries her hardest to be the loving mother her son needs.  As a young child, Kevin refuses to be potty trained, wearing diapers and even mocking Eva by purposely soiling himself immediately after she has cleaned and changed him.  At only six or seven years old, Kevin seems to be intelligent beyond his years, more manipulative than any child should rightfully be, and even a bit evil.

While Kevin continuously tortures his mother with his lack of affection and his defiant attitude, he is the sweetest boy imaginable when dealing with Franklin.  His father does not get to see the cold and emotionless glare that Kevin lays on Eva, nor does he see any hint of the dark side of his son that is frightening and worrying Eva so much.  Franklin sees Kevin as “just a boy,” certain that his wife is simply overreacting or just not understanding her son properly.  Meanwhile in the present time, we see Eva struggling to repair the damage done to her small home by vandals while receiving nothing but hate, disapproval, or indifference from her community.  At this point, I’m assuming that Franklin divorced her after Kevin lost his mind and did something terrible to either the family or the community. 

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The film jumps a bit, skimming past Eva’s second pregnancy and the arrival of a daughter, Celia.  Blond and cheerful, Celia is the polar opposite of the dark and devious Kevin.  She is loving and clearly adores her parents and big brother.  As Eva tries to hold herself together, Franklin finds a new way to bond with Kevin by encouraging his new-found interest in archery and purchasing him a bow and arrow set.  Kevin is a natural, hitting bulls eye after bulls eye to the delight of Franklin.  There is no delight in Eva’s heart however; Celia’s lost pet is discovered by her in the kitchen’s garbage disposal, Celia is blinded in one eye by drain cleaner, and she suspects Kevin is guilty of the death and the injury.  Of course, Franklin is not hearing a word of it and dismisses her suspicions as their marriage crumbles even further.

As Kevin’s parents plan a divorce, the nearly sixteen year old Kevin plans a massacre.  While Eva is at work, Kevin brings his bow and arrow set to his high school and let’s loose on his classmates.  Multiple students are killed, some are permanently injured, and Kevin is incredibly pleased with himself.  The violent act quickly hits the news and Eva rushes to the school fearing for her son’s life.  When she arrives, she begins seeing bodies penetrated by the arrows she knows belong to her son.  When Kevin finally emerges from the school, the smirk on his face says it all and Eva slowly retreats from the scene as a broken woman.  She returns to her home in search of her husband and daughter, finding them dead in the backyard, two more victims of Kevin’s violence.

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Ezra Miller terrified me, as did Jasper Newell who portrayed the younger version of Kevin.  The cold, dead and dark eyes, the hate in his gaze when looking upon his mother, and the small hints of joy that entered his expression when causing his mother pain felt so real that I found myself loathing and hating Kevin even as a child.  He manipulates his clueless father into seeing him as a sweet little boy who is growing into a wonderful young man.  He gives his mother a single moment of normalcy one night while sick, cuddling up to her as she reads him a story, but quickly returns to his true self and gives her nothing more than indifference and defiance.  Both actors who played Kevin amazed me in the way they gave the character life and allowed the audience to feel the same pain and fear felt by Eva.

Tilda Swinton is perfect as Eva.  Socially awkward, often unsure, but always committed to being the best mother she knows how to be.  I myself would have given up on Kevin, but Eva hangs on for dear life and is constantly searching for ways to connect with him and to find a path to his heart.  She sticks with her son until the very end, remaining in a town where she is hated in order to be able to visit him in prison.  At the end of the film, Kevin’s shell cracks and his nervousness about a transfer to an adult facility seeps through.  As the visit concludes, Eva asks Kevin why he did it.  Kevin replies that he thought he used to know, but now is no longer sure.  Eva embraces her son and he is taken away.  It’s a sad moment, but Eva seems to be so hopeful that her child may finally become the son she wanted him to be.

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We Need To Talk About Kevin gives us a glimpse into the lives of a family that could very well mirror a family in your own neighborhood.  With the multiple and frequent violent acts in schools across the country, we are constantly struggling to find the WHY and the HOW.  Was it the fault of the parent?  Should the child have received therapy or medication?  What were the warning signs?  What was the reasoning?  In the film, Eva is blamed and tormented because of Kevin’s actions, even though she tried her best and did what she could to be a loving mother to her troubled child.  Could she have done more?  Of course, but no evidence exists that would allow us to say that certain actions would have prevented the violent events.  As outsiders, it’s easy for us to pass judgment and make suggestions, but impossible for us to know for sure what we would do if our own child lashed out.  This film allows us to get a glimpse at the creation of a psychopath and the horror of the aftermath, hopefully also giving us a bit of understanding and hopefully some sympathy.

I adored this film, but it also gave me nightmares.  It is terrifying to think that a child you created and loved could be so cold and heartless, even at a young age.  It’s scary to think that a child could be so manipulative and crafty that one parent could be totally blind to the problems while the other parent sees nothing but those problems.  It’s sad that a community could place blame on the family of the guilty party, adding to the pain and grief they are already feeling by shunning them and sometimes causing physical harm, emotional damage, or property damage.  If I didn’t ruin the surprise for you, I definitely recommend checking this film out.  I also plan on hunting down and reading the novel that inspired it; hopefully it lives up to the hype.  Happy viewing.

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Kids And Guns

The massacre at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut is horrifying and disgusting.  Adam Lanza, the coward who murdered his mother before stealing innocent lives and ultimately ending his own, committed a crime that is near impossible for us to wrap our heads around.  Twelve little girls, eight little boys, and six adults are gone from this world because of one disturbed individual who had a grudge against his mother and against society.  Reports are now stating that Lanza could not feel physical or psychological pain in the same was as his peers; in our struggle to understand why this happened, we are looking inside the killer and into his life.  The other thing we’re doing is diving back into the argument of gun control.

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I can barely think about those lives that were cut horrendously short at the hands of a selfish madman without getting emotional and choked up.  My heart breaks for the families affected and for the survivors in that school and community who have the near impossible task of healing and moving on.  I’m also disappointed and disgusted by everyone, myself included, who gave in and started publicly sounding off on the issue of gun control before the school had even been secured and the bodies of those poor children moved out of the classrooms.  26 people dead and all we can do is whine about how guns are evil as others whine about guns not killing people because people kill people.

My Twitter timeline was suffocated by people, both celebrities and friends, choosing sides on the argument on gun control.  The largest group blamed the tragedy on the ease of obtaining guns.  They referenced the attack in China where a maniac with a knife attacked children and killed no one, using that as proof that guns are to blame.  The other side argued that there is no danger with guns themselves, as the danger comes only when the gun is in the hands of a mentally unstable person.  Both sides have valid points and both sides deserve to be heard, but is now really the right time to bring it up?

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I completely agree that there do need to be some changed in the way we control who has guns and where they are allowed to have them.  I agree that guns are a more dangerous and deadly tool than a knife.  I agree that any weapon in the hands of a disturbed individual can be incredibly deadly.  I agree that the gun is nothing without the person to hold it and that person’s will to fire it.  I’m very much in favor of gun ownership and very against restrictions on what tools one is allowed to protect themselves with.

That all said, nothing good will come of me spreading my opinion on gun control.  I will not help any of the victims in Connecticut and I will not bring comfort to their families.  My heart can be in the right place while I express my views on guns and my thoughts on what COULD have and SHOULD have been done, but good intentions don’t necessarily yield positive results.  [SIDENOTE:  click here for my blogging buddy’s entry about the shooting.  Although he wasn’t my inspiration for this entry, my words take an unintentional dig at him.  That said, I couldn’t help but agree with many of his points and I encourage you to go read them]

These families do not need to be caught in the middle of a country divided on the issue of gun control, not while they are trying to bury their children and make sense of a senseless tragedy.  It does make sense to bring up issues when they are relevant and in the front of everyone’s minds, but is it right to do so?  Should we be pushing the gun control issue right now, using these lost lives as ammunition for our arguments?  What good will it do to bring the gun debate into this?  If I lost my son, I’m confident that one of the last things I’d want to hear about is whether or not his death could have been prevented if guns were more difficult to obtain.

Gun-Control

The community of Newtown desperately needs to heal.  Today, they are planning the first funerals for two of the children who were murdered.  Students of Sandy Hook will be sent to other schools while the town debates on whether or not the school will ever reopen.  Parents in the town, and across the nation, are holding their own children a bit tighter this morning and feeling quite uneasy watching their child board the bus for school.  Newtown police, and officials in other areas, are increasing patrols and reexamining safety plans and emergency precautions.  Just sitting here thinking about the shooting has me feeling sick to my stomach; I cannot begin to imagine the pain that is currently radiating through Newtown and all of Connecticut.

Normally, when tragedy strikes, we see and hear messages asking the public and the media to please respect the privacy of the families.  We rarely ever take this advice, choosing instead to poke at tragedy with a pointy stick until it bleeds.  This needs to stop, especially with the community of Newtown.  Help by donating your time, your funds, and your ear.  Examine your own children’s schools and educate yourself on their plans in the event of a shooter or another dangerous situation.  Be more open to warning signs and see if enough resources are available for troubled people who are considering lashing out violently.  Hug your child a bit tighter and be thankful you’re both still breathing.

The gun control debate needs to happen, I don’t argue that.  It just doesn’t need to happen right this second, before the students and teachers have been laid to rest and before some have even been able to process what has happened.  We don’t need to be focused on what the school should have done because we can’t change a thing.  We need to place the blame on the person who earned it and refrain from blaming God (or lack thereof), guns, security, or any other factors.  Once the community has had a chance to bury their dead and to find some sort of normalcy again, then we can revisit the tragedy and poke at it a bit.  But we cannot and should not use these deaths as catalyst for gun control, arming teachers, God in school, or any of our other causes.  The memory of the fallen in Newtown deserve much better.

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