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Make Donald Drumpf Again

“If you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them, would you? Seriously. OK, just knock the hell … I promise you, I will pay for the legal fees.  I’d like to punch him in the face, I tell ya. I love the old days. You know what they used to do to guys like that when they were in a place like this? They’d be carried out on a stretcher, folks.” Donald Trump


When I first heard that Donald Trump was planning to run for President of the United States, I had a good laugh about it.  The thought of that floppy-haired old man running the country instead of telling people they’re fired in between bankruptcies was seriously comical.  I was looking forward to seeing how he was going to campaign because it would be entertaining for us all.  But then, something unexpected began to happen.  People started to take Trump seriously.  Supporters started to emerge from the woodwork and proclaim that Trump was the hero America needed.  That he would indeed make America great again.

John Oliver delivered a masterful piece on Trump, AKA Donald Drumpf. The custom hats are sold out, and the video of Last Week Tonight received over 20 million YouTube views in about 10 days.  Oliver discussed the power of Trump’s name, how it is the cornerstone of his brand, but countered with how his “real” name, Drumpf, is much less magical.  He drove a lot of points home, the key one being that we’re getting far too caught up in the name and the myth of instant success that is associated with Trump.  We’re overlooking the fact that the man is, for lack of a better term, full of shit.


Trump’s run for President isn’t funny anymore.  Our modern version of Hitler seems to have successfully brainwashed thousands upon thousands of people, enough to win state after state as he plows his way through the country.  Weak-minded people, mostly white folks in their 40s and higher, are promising to vote for Trump during rallies as their hold their hands high in the air.  His support system grows stronger every time he appears on TV to yell about immigrants or his “meager” beginnings with a million dollars in his pocket.


This isn’t a matter of not liking a candidate because I disagree with their views, it’s a matter of not liking a candidate because he’s a colossal dipshit who shouldn’t be allowed to manage a game of Sims, nevermind an entire country.  Donald Trump is a confused little boy whose parents told him he could do anything he wanted when he grew up, not knowing that their little boy would take that to the letter as an adult and try to buy a country.  He enjoyed fear mongering.  He’s a racist, and a sexist.  He doesn’t know dick about what it takes to run a country.  Hey, neither do I, which is why I’ll never try to get that particular job.  It isn’t for everyone.

We are a country obsessed with celebrities.  We make nobodies famous through reality television and YouTube.  We created President Trump because we have a fascination with idiots and memes and GIFs, and Trump makes for good entertainment.  We care more about upcoming SNL skits about Trump than we do about the fact that he will likely burn down America within his first week.  We created the Jersey Shore, we are responsible for the dozens upon dozens of Kardashian shows, we ruined MTV, and we continue to obsess over the frivolous while ignoring reality.

Our current reality is that Donald Trump has a damn good chance of becoming President of the United States.  Luckily for us, a good chance is very different than a secured victory.  We still have time to make this right.  We can put a stop to this cartoon world and right the ship before this vulgar human gets anywhere close to swearing in.  We need to save this country from becoming little more than a running joke.  We need to give a damn about more than cat videos and face swapping and actually see how harmful Trump truly is.  Time is running out; this train needs to be derailed immediately.  We need to decide whether we want to live somewhere that we can be proud of or live somewhere resembling a preschool playground.


  • “You know it really doesn’t matter what they write, as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” 
  • “There was blood coming out of her eyes… blood coming out of her… wherever.” 
  • “Women; You have to treat them like shit.”

TRUMP ON THE MILITARY:  “26,000 unreported sexual assults [sic] in the military — only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?”

TRUMP ON FORMER PRESIDENTAL CANDIDATE CARLY FIORINA:  “Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?!”


Who Gets Your Vote?

The very first time I voted, back in 2000, I voted for Harry Browne for President.  It was very exciting for me to finally feel as though my voice would be heard.  I knew Browne had no chance of winning, but he was the best candidate in my mind and I wanted him to have my vote.  My college campus had countless resources for students so that registering to vote was easier than finding a keg party.  We were all highly encouraged to get out there and make our generation be heard and seen.  Getting that “I Voted” sticker for the first time was a thrill, I won’t lie.  A tiny piece of sticky laminated paper that was worn like a badge of honor up until it crinkled up and fell off late in the day.  If you didn’t have that sticker, you didn’t want to leave your dorm room.

In elementary and middle school, we would hold mock elections, complete with the actual voting booths that would be used by the adults later on and the stickers to let the world know we cast our vote.  Back then, I always voted Democrat, regardless of what the candidate stood for and what I knew about them (which at that age was very little).  Once practice voting was over and I began educating myself more, I began seeing how the party wasn’t everything and should not be a deciding factor in who my support goes to.  It’s a nice starting point, but it doesn’t tell the whole story.

During the months before election day, our television screens and radio stations are jam-packed with political ads, the most misleading, useless, and often comedic thing about the election and the candidates.  Rather than clearly express goals, intentions, and desires, the majority of candidates launch attacks on their opponents and simply say that they are the polar opposite of this awful person.  Guy A voted against better funding for public schools.  Woman B doesn’t pay her taxes.  Occasionally you get a person like Mourdock who will say or do something worthy of a negative ad, but for the most part it feels forced and doesn’t assist voters whatsoever; I need to know what a candidate stands for, not just why the other guy isn’t worth my time.

Regardless of party affiliation, candidate preference, general outlook on the state of this country, or other vote swaying factors, the general consensus seems to be that you must get out and cast your vote today.  The importance of voting seems to be in the spotlight more and more with every passing election, be it because of the ease we can now communicate with others worldwide or because of close elections in the past few years where it seemed that every single solitary vote carried a lot of weight.  If you fail to vote, you are almost shunned by peers and coworkers, looked at as someone who doesn’t care about their country and who has no interest in securing the best future for themselves and for the rest of us.

What I feel is most important is for everyone to be as educated as possible about the candidates, the process, and the power that our future President actually has.  So many people used to think (and surely some still do) that popular vote secured the new President.  Too many people fail to realize that our system of government is built with checks and balances that keep the President from simply doing what he feels is best.  A large number of people take political ads as pure fact instead of doing a bit of research themselves, leaving their education up to thirty-second spots between their favorite television shows.  Voting is important, but it means a lot more when you are educated, prepared, and know that simply electing a shiny new guy isn’t a quick and instant fix to all of our problems.

Pushing the need to vote is important, but we should also be pushing the need to be properly educated and informed prior to casting that vote.  We need political ads that highlight the candidate’s goals, plans, and outlook for their future term.  We need to be less focused on how good someone looks in front of a camera and be more focused on what they can and will try to do for us.  We need to base our vote on factors that actually matter rather that basing our vote on race or religion.  We need to have realistic expectations from our leaders instead of expecting them to wave a magic wand once in office and cure all that ails us.

My prediction is that Obama and Biden see success in this election and will have another four years to try to improve the state of this nation.  I hope that this time around, they receive more support from Congress and that we start to focus more on the successes instead of only highlighting the failures.  I hope people like Mourdock quickly fade into the background, their nonsensical statements becoming a distant memory as we stop quoting God in order to justify our crazy beliefs and wishes.  I feel that this country is a mess, but I have hope that we will see upward trends in the next few years.  It may be slow, but I feel it coming.


Did you get out and vote?  If you’re brave enough to say it, who did you vote for and why?

If you declined to vote this year, what kept you from the polls?

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