Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!  I hope you’re all so busy with friends and family that you’re reading this days after the fact.  My husband is cooking up a delicious dairy-free feast to accommodate my annoying and untimely new food allergy, my mother-in-law will be visiting and bringing goodies of her own, and I get 4 blissful days off of work.  I’m also too broke to even think about shopping on Friday, but even with unlimited funds, I wouldn’t be going anywhere.

The first Black Friday I ever worked was at Shoe Carnival where I worked a 6am to 10pm shift and watched people behave like animals.  I saw two women get into a fist fight over a pair of shoes while their kids watched.  I witnessed the worst of people in a concentrated form, and it was terrifying.  These days, a 6am opening is lame compared to the stores who open as early as 2pm on Thanksgiving Day to give shoppers early access to sales.  It’s a horrible thing.


Supply and demand keeps stores stretching further and further into Thanksgiving.  Midnight worked for a while, but even that wasn’t enough, so now, retail employees across the country find themselves having an early dinner (or skipping it altogether) so they can go to work and appease the crazies who have nothing better to do than map out a strategy to hit as many stores as possible in 24 hours so they can maybe save a couple hundred dollars.

I do most of my Christmas shopping online at this point because I see no point in going to stand in line at Target at 4am to maybe get a good deal on a flat screen sold to me buy some guy who would rather be at home playing Xbox while slowly slipping into a turkey-induced food coma.  There are places that definitely need to be open on Thanksgiving; you need gas stations, law enforcement, some type of food services (grocery, fast food, or otherwise), health care, and so on.  We do not need to have TJ Maxx, GameStop, Best Buy, Walmart, or other businesses who sell things no one really NEEDS on Thanksgiving.  Let those employees have a day off.  They’re going to suffer enough on Friday, why can’t we let them take Turkey Day off?


If we stop giving in to the pressure and stay home on Thanksgiving, stores will stop with these insane hours and stupid sales.  Even if you don’t care at all about Thanksgiving, you should care about having a day off from the real world.  A day where everything can go quiet and you can focus on being with loved ones, being with yourself, or just taking some quality time for your favorite activity.  If you honestly can’t control yourself (or can’t stand your family) and HAVE to go shopping before you start convulsing, go online shopping.  Lock yourself in a room and go bid-happy on eBay.  Find something to do that doesn’t involve making retail employees leave their house so you can get $5 off a new jacket.

Today is either a wonderful day to spend with family or the perfect day to sleep until 4pm.  Either way, it’s a day we all deserve to take advantage of and stay away from the harsh neon lights of the Super Stores down the street.  Stop being a mindless retail puppet, lured from your home by the promise of 50% off Playstation games.  The only alarms you set should be food prep related, and the only reason to get out of sweatpants should be to change into a pair of even stretchier sweatpants.  And if you do choose to ignore me because the deals at Sears are just TOO good to pass up, try not to be a cunt to those who are skipping their holiday just so you can buy a weed wacker and electric drill.

Friendly Neighbors, Part 2

My next door neighbors and I will never be friends, not after the “man” of the house calling me a bitch and telling me to “move my fucking car” so his kids, nieces, nephews, and drunk friends have freedom to roam all over my front lawn and driveway.  I’ll never warm up to the woman who tries to goad me into an argument on a community message board instead of admit that maybe she shouldn’t allow her kids to hit baseballs into my siding or let them stand in the middle of my backyard, making my dog go crazy by our back door.  I can’t get along with people who treat an animal like an accessory instead of a living being, thinking throwing it a few treats is equal to care and love.

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My husband and I have given them notice that they aren’t allowed on our property.  He transcribed the lovely verbal exchange we had and sent them a copy, along with a copy to the HOA & sheriff.  We’re past the point of repair because there is clearly no reasoning with someone who refuses to admit they may have been wrong, choosing instead to blame everyone else.  I am the bad guy in this situation because I felt it was wrong to leave a puppy in the freezing rain for 90 minutes without even a light on out back.  I’m in the wrong for not wanting kids playing catch in my backyard because it upsets my own dog.  I’m the asshole for not wanting drunk idiots standing in my front lawn, dropping cigarette butts everywhere.  I am clearly a monster.

The weird thing is that it wasn’t always like this.  The man of the house helped my husband out with some yard issues, the girlfriend and I exchanged pleasantries here and there, and the first time they had a party, the guy gave us a heads up since there was going to be kids and cars everywhere.  It was nice.  Then, the second party rolled around and we had people all over the back yard.  Then the third party had drunk idiots in our front yard and being unreasonably loud so my kid couldn’t sleep.  The second they blocked off the street during that third party, I knew the niceties were over and done with.  There was zero effort to contain their guests or kids and zero concern about anyone around them.


I am a person who values and respects the personal space of others, and I expect the same be done for me.  I don’t chain my dog up outside unsupervised so he can bark his head off and give everyone a headache.  I don’t park my car in front of other people’s homes or mailboxes unless I am visiting a friend and have no other option.  I don’t yell and scream while running up and down the streets at midnight.  I try to be as unnoticeable as possible.  Because I don’t live on a college campus and because my neighborhood is filled with families, I expect a certain type of behavior from my fellow neighbors who were deemed adult enough to buy a home in the first place.

Last Sunday, my neighbors called the cops on my husband and I.  This stemmed from me recording a video of their dog barking while they ignored it.  I was standing in my kitchen to do this with the screen door closed; not outside, not hanging out a window, just standing in my kitchen.  Our neighbors have made it a new habit to examine our house anytime they come outside to throw food or water at their poor barking puppy, so the guy noticed me standing there and yells “REALLY?”  The lady comes out soon after, running her mouth about how animal control says it’s totally okay to leave  dog all by itself.  [Sidenote – I don’t give a shit what animal control says; you’re a shitty pet owner if you think leaving a dog alone outside for most of its life is an okay thing to do]


Getting back to the cops now.  The woman who showed up had the worst possible attitude ever; she rolled her eyes at my husband, said she didn’t want to be there, and was the true definition of a cunt.  She accused us of trespassing, then tried to take what we said and twist it into some weird admission of guilt.  I’m half convinced she was a friend of our neighbors with her piss poor attitude.  I don’t know what they told the cops to get them to come out, but as far as I am aware, I’m allowed to stand in my kitchen and do whatever the hell I please with my phone, or any other electronic device I have handy.  The Corporal I spoke to later than night didn’t have any issue with me videotaping something from inside my house, which makes me even more curious what these people told the cops to get them out there.

You may think that this is nothing more than an exchange of petty behavior between our two homes, but I don’t see it that way.  We put up with a lot of bull before contacting animal control, and that was done not out of spite, but because a young puppy was sitting in the dark, cold rainy temperatures for 90 minutes straight.  If they hadn’t purchased a dog so they could then ignore said dog, all of this likely would not have happened.  If anyone knows of a strange loophole in the law that would allow me to steal their dog and adopt her out to a good home, please let me know.

At this point, the only thing I can do is ensure I document everything and keep the HOA and law enforcement up to date on what is going on.  Copies of the recording have been distributed to the appropriate parties, which includes the guy calling me a bitch and trying to get me to fight him.  I hate having to do this, and I hate that I can’t ever be the kind of person who shuts up and accepts whatever shitstorm comes their way.  I would love not to care and just wander through life oblivious to the assholes around me.  But I’m not now, nor will I ever be, that person.  My husband and I busted our asses getting into this house and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let someone walk all over me because they were “here first, bitch.”

Friendly Neighbors

My husband and I have been in our new home for a little over a year now, and I couldn’t be happier about leaving the world of renting far behind me.  The downside to home ownership is that, unlike apartments, your neighbors remain pretty consistent.  Move in next to a lovely family, and you’ll have an easy ride.  Get stuck by a bad neighbor and you can expect to deal with nonstop nonsense for the next 30 years.

While our home was being built, I was excited about the existing neighbors, who had a child around the same age as my own.  He was a very polite and well-spoken boy who lived there part time (divorce/separation having half his time with his bio-dad).  Other than seeing some pretty ugly drama between the woman next door and her ex, things were pretty quiet.  Even the first time they threw a party, the gentleman next door came over to let us know there would be noise and cars, and I really appreciated that.

The second time they had a party, there was no friendly warming before the bouncy house was inflated.  There were drunk people sitting in our front yard, littering cigarette butts everywhere. There were kids in our driveway.  The man of the house (who I christen Pussy Whipped) blocked off the entire street with flashing lights so the dozens upon dozens of kids could run around screaming.  Their house is at the end of the street next to an empty cul-de-sac and giant field, yet they HAD to play cornhole right at the edge of our property, resulting in people all over our yard.  Not cool.

In the spirit of neighborly love, we let it go.  When one of their children was standing in our driveway, shooting darts at cars, we let it go.  When they lost their baby in our yard because the lady of the house (who I’ve named HorseFace) was too busy Facebooking on her phone, we let it go.  When their new puppy continuously got loose and came scratching at our back door, we let it go.  When their child started picking on my kid and stole his toy, we let it go.  When HorseFace confronted me about “kicking her kid out” of my yard, asking me if she did something to offend me, I let it go.  I didn’t want to let it go, seeing as how her stupid kid was standing in the middle of my yard to play catch and upsetting my dog, not just retrieving a ball like she said he was, but I did.

Things got to be too much when HorseFace and Pussy Whipped suddenly decided that having a dog was too much work.  They began chaining the puppy outside around 6:30am and leaving her outside for most of the day.  The puppy would be outside in the pitch dark and cold until nearly 10pm, barking nonstop while my kid tries to sleep.  On the weekends, we would be woken up early by the barking.  Just like the postal service, that puppy would be outside in rain or shine.  Alone.  A couple weeks ago, they moved the puppy’s chain so she’d be further away from the back door (which also meant she would be in two yards that didn’t belong to her)  After hearing the poor dog bark to be let inside for NINETY MINUTES STRAIGHT IN 50 DEGREE WEATHER AND POURING RAIN, I contacted animal services so they could do a wellness check.  I don’t care who you are or what you have going on, there is no excuse for neglecting your dog.  And that is exactly what leaving your dog out in the rain while you’re comfy inside would be called.  Neglect.

Yesterday, we saw a message on NextDoor, a community message board for my neighborhood.  It was titled “Friendly Neighbors” and read:  “Don’t we all feel like if a neighbor has an issue with a pet in the neighborhood that for whatever reason is bothering someone as a community they should be an adult and go and talk to the other neighbor before they call animal management for instance?  Just really annoyed that we have neighbors make complaints on a puppy for barking but they have a dog as well that barks as well!”  HorseFace’s strong suit is not the English language.  Or punctuation.  Now, I do agree that talking to a neighbor should be the way to go if it’s an issue of noise.  This was not.  This was an issue of neglect.  A puppy needs attention and direction, not a chain and alone time for hours upon hours.  I would never call animal management out of spite.  I called because that dog needed help.  As far as MY dog barking, of course my dog barks!  Every time their puppy comes by our door, my dog barks.  What my dog does not do is get left outside unsupervised to bark his head off until someone gives a damn.  Idiot.

An awesome person on NextDoor replied to HorseFace saying:  “If a dog is barking that much, that means that it wants attention and the owner is not taking responsibility for it.  Yes, no owner is perfect, my dog barks too, but when a dog is left outside barking non-stop, that means the owner is being ignorant.  People also have to remember to be responsible pet owners.”  This is my new favorite neighbor.  HorseFace replied:  “Well barking was not the complaint and she only barks when she is wanting back in.  We pay plenty of attention to her as well as play with her.  The people even make it a point to park across the sidewalk so my kids can’t ride their toys in front of their house so I don’t believe there is a true issue except they are simply being childish.”  At this point, we are enraged.  I park my car at the end of my driveway not to spite her kids (honestly, who they hell accuses someone of doing that??) but to stop cars from turning around in my driveway.  The cul-de-sac is not paved, so people use my driveway, resulting in headlights shining through our windows at all hours and people leaving skid marks everywhere.  We had drunk people leave tire tracks all over our drive as they peeled out after a party, and we had a motorcycle do donuts in the street and our drive, marking it up.  That aside, HorseFace (and half my street) parks in the exact same fashion, completely blocking the sidewalk.

My husband has had it at this point, so he says we need to go over there and talk to them face to face (I recorded this conversation so they couldn’t try and spin it later).  As he rings the doorbell, HorseFace says “it’s them, I know it’s them” before opening the door.  My husband greets them calmly and asks if there is anything we need to talk about.  HorseFace says “I don’t know, you guys seem all of a sudden, don’t seem to wave, don’t seem to care, we have a complaint on the dog, you’re our only neighbor.”  Pussy Whipped is standing behind her, holding their baby.  My husband let them know that of course we filed a complaint on the dog because she was out in the rain for an hour and a half.  HorseFace says BULL!  My husband says it’s definitely not bull, as we live right next door and can see/hear everything.  At this point, they’re talking over each other, HorseFace saying we should have come and talked to them, my husband saying it’s not his job to convince people to be good pet owners.  Pussy Whipped and HorseFace both then tell us to go right ahead and call the police/animal control/etc.  So I guess now it’s okay to call?  It’s hard to keep track.

My husband says “if you have something to say, don’t go online and say it.”  Pussy Whipped then says “I tell you what, get your fucking car out of the way, how ‘bout that?”  Cute how he grew a pair while not noticing that his car is blocking the sidewalk as we speak.  Pussy Whipped then accuses us of blocking the sideway to keep kids away.  My husband explains it’s because our driveway is the go-to for cars to turn around in because they don’t want to use the pile of rocks that is our temporary cul-de-sac.  HorseFace starts complaining about her kids having to go out in the street, seeming to forget the countless times her kids are playing in the middle of the road, ignoring cars that come through, while unsupervised.  Pussy Whipped brings the topic back to our dog barking, where I step in and say the reason he barks is because they moved their dog’s chain so that the puppy can come into our yard.  Pussy Whipped then says he can’t go outside without my dog sounding like he’s going to tear through the wall and attack him.  For those of you who have seen my dog, do you see him capable of breaking through the walls of our house and attacking our retarded neighbor?  No?  Me either.

HorseFace continues to deny that their puppy was outside in the rain for so long, or that they neglect her at all.  I need to stress that this puppy is continuously left outside along in godawful weather and/or in the dark.  Not once have we ever seen this dog be taken for a walk; she’s just thrown in the backyard.  I guess to their credit, they do have a dog bowl sitting out there for her, which is helpful when she’s left alone for hours on end, barking her little head off.  HorseFace THEN says that animal management never even came out, which is strange considering her post about animal management coming out.  At this point, my husband gives up and we walk away while HorseFace yells out the door about how childish we are.  Pussy Whipped comes out of the house now; my husband is on the other side of our driveway and I am barely in my own yard at this point.  She’s still yelling at us, so I lose it a bit and call her out on having drunk idiots in my yard and driveway.  She yells back about me being mean to her poor little angel boy (because saying verbatim “hey, can you please get out of my yard, you’re upsetting my dog” is PURE EVIL).  The same boy who crushed another neighbors young tree while playing in their yard.

So NOW, Pussy Whipped says “we were here first, bitch.”  I start walking back to my house, saying “fucking asshole” as I turn around.  He THEN says “Yeah, do something!”  I point out that he is holding a baby while trying to antagonize me.  Idiot.  He yells “yeah, you’re so tough!” and accused me of starting shit.  While holding a baby, Pussy Whipped keeps trying to  get me to “do something.”  Me, not my husband; the guy wants to fight a chick.  As much as I want to punch this bald asshat square in the face, I go back inside my house instead so we can laugh at them in private.  Big shocker as well; for the rest of the day on Sunday, they let their puppy back in the house as soon as she started barking.  Weird how that works.

I don’t regret calling animal management for one second because the end result seems to be that now the puppy will be let back in when she barks instead of left outside for hours unattended.  With winter coming and the temperature dropping, I’m happy that she won’t be suffering.  I mean, her owners are idiots, but outside of that, she will be fine.  Now, I might have been more willing to go and speak to her about the puppy if her reaction to the whole kid in the yard thing had been more positive.  Not once did she acknowledge that the kid shouldn’t have been in someone else’s yard; her first reaction was to accuse me of having a problem with her family.  That isn’t what a rational adult does.

Since I’m not dealing with a rational adult, talking is pointless.  The three minutes we spent “talking” to them yesterday proved that even more.  There is no reasoning with HorseFace, a woman convinced her children are so charming, anyone would be honored to have them running around in their yard.  There is no reasoning with Pussy Whipped either, a man who hides behind his wife and child, threatens a woman, and thinks that being somewhere first means you own the entire block.  The air being let out of two of my tires this morning could be a weird coincidence, but I’m getting as much as possible on record now because people who use the “we were here first” argument are the same people petty enough to damage someone’s property.  I need a lawyer.  And a shotgun.  And a ten foot fence.

Improving Yourself From The Inside Out – @shellystins (Guest Writer)

I’ve always been kind of fascinated by people who can change their life in dramatic ways. It’s like one minute they’re living this life that leaves them feeling tired, empty, and lacking. And the next, they’re completely satisfied down to their soul and grinning from ear to ear because they feel so good about themselves and who they are. And what I’ve noticed most about the people who achieve this type of almost miraculous transformation is that it generally involves them altering their lives on both a personal and professional level. In the case of this post, it can occur when changing your diet and also pursuing a career in the field of health coaching.

It only makes sense, really, because when you go through the changes yourself, it puts you in the perfect position to help others who need to go through the changes to reach their own goals too. It gives you the ability to say, “Hey, I’ve been there. I know how it feels, but I did it and I know that you can do it too!” It also enables you to give little tips and tricks that you used to get through the dreaded lack of motivation phase and to overcome the hurdles that threaten their ultimate success.


Take the story of Jil Larsen, founder and owner of Magic Mix Juicery in New York City, for instance. She was diagnosed with melasma, a skin disorder. Upon doing research about how she could effectively deal with it, she learned that she was eating too much, but not enough of good, healthy, vitamin-rich foods. So she started juicing and eating healthier in an effort to regain her health, which she did—and her melasma joyously reversed. Born from this experience was her desire to help others eat less and eatbetter so they too could experience better health. This is when she opened Magic Mix Juicery and now serves healthy food to people in the Financial District in New York City. 

Of course, one part of achieving this level of life change requires making changes in your own life. How? Fortunately, there are a number of ways. For example, the American Heart Association recommends expending as many calories as you eat, eating a wide variety of foods, and making sure those foods are full of good nutrients. This basically means eating fruits, veggies, whole grains, low-fat dairy, nuts, poultry, fish, and other good-for-you menu items. It also means limiting the amount of processed foods you eat (think crackers, chips, cookies, and things like that). 

But if you need help figuring out exactly what changes can provide you the greatest impact and the greatest ability to change your life, another option is to do what Jil did. Take a health issue near and dear to your heart, maybe one that is affecting you personally. Then, learn as much about it as you can and start making positive health-based changes to help ease, if not eliminate, the condition or concern. You could then become a health coach (or enter a similar career path) to help others in similar situations make the necessary changes in their owned lives to enjoy a better and higher quality of life.

This is the same basic principle behind what makes Cancer Buddies Network such a success. When people can work with someone who has walked in their shoes, who not only struggles with the physical issues they face but the mental ones too, there’s no better feeling. It’s like receiving a hug from a long lost friend, reminding you that everything will be okay.

WWE Presents Brock Lesnar’s Go To Hell Tour

I’m excited for tonight; a WWE Network exclusive, Brock Lesnar will be kicking off his Go To Hell tour starting with a battle against Big Show at Madison Square Garden.

This is the beginning of a string of exciting events. The Brothers of Destruction are reuniting. Lesnar and Undertaker will have their rematch at Hell In A Cell. And John Cena is taking six weeks off!

Please check out the link below for FaceToHeel’s rundown of tonight’s events.

Source: WWE Presents Brock Lesnar’s Go To Hell Tour

2015 Night of Champions Card Lineup and Predictions

WWE’s Night Of Champions is tonight!  Head over to (link below) for a full rundown of the match card and to see my predictions.

Source: 2015 Night of Champions Card Lineup and Predictions

Say Cheese

I always wondered why certain people would choose to cut amazing food groups out of their diet.  Vegetarians, vegans, the “I don’t have a gluten allergy but I go gluten free for the health benefits” crowd.  I used to say often that if I was allergic to peanuts, I would lose my mind.  I love food that is worthy of the highest critical praise and I love a greasy basket of fried nonsense from the state fair.  Eating surrounds so many events in life and it’s best to go in with zero restrictions.  Or at least it was.

In early August of 2015, I was diagnosed with severe lactose intolerance and a milk allergy.  I can’t even eat something that “may have” come into contact with dairy without getting horribly sick and feeling miles south of the worst hangover I’ve ever had combined with what I imagine the human body feels like after falling off a cliff.  Farewell pizza, cheese curds, most baked goods and alfredo sauce.  Hello soy cheese and almond milk and butter made out of oil.  Forget casually going to a restaurant and ordering whatever sounds good because half the time, there’s some milk product hiding away in the meal that keeps me from getting close to it.  Hell, I washed dishes the other day that had sour cream on them and got a godawful rash on both of my arms.  Things are very different for me now.


What I’ve noticed more than anything is that the world isn’t friendly to people with dietary restrictions.  Order something without cheese and be prepared for people to look at you as if you have leprosy.  It’s not fun being THAT person who has to turn down birthday cake at work or pizza parties with friends or Halloween candy because your body will reject it in all sorts of fun ways.  It’s difficult to avoid allergens when it seems that virtually everything is processed in a factory that also processes food items with nuts and milk and gluten.  I won’t even get started on how expensive it becomes to find things that are acceptable and safe.

At work, people look at me with sad faces when I turn down certain foods and give them an honest reason why.  When I don’t feel like giving a reason, they look at me funny, as if I’m a freak of nature for declining an 8am doughnut.  Dealing with this for the last month and a half has made me very confused about why there is barely any focus on dietary restrictions.  I have to make separate shopping trips to get what I need because stores just don’t carry it.  I don’t expect the world to cater to every individual need, but lactose intolerance is hardly a rare thing.  Mine may be more serious than most, but it makes me wonder why such a large population of people are left without reasonable options.  My goal is to find a way to get more options; I just need to find the starting line.

29 More Years To Go…

Sometimes I wonder if I’m meant to live in a world with other people or if my true wish is to be on a small island with only a handful of others.  My husband and I moved into a house in order to get away from cramped apartment living.  We were tired of sharing a wall, tired of people blocking our driveway, tired of kids playing right outside our back door in the shared yard, and just tired of not having a space to call our own.  Last October, we said goodbye to our townhome and hello to our house.


I should have expected to still run into issues, and I don’t know why I thought that all problems would vanish once the ink was dry and we had keys in hand.  We have a house full of dudes on one side of us; they have at least five vehicles, possibly six, and initially tried to make the front of OUR home their permanent parking space.  The house, at max, is a three bedroom unit.  Three bedrooms, five dudes, possibly one younger female, a few older females who come and go, and occasionally a kid or two.  One resident wears nothing but a tank top and sandals, and just about all of them act like it’s a frat house.  At least the keg is finally off the front porch.

Across the street, the frat house’s friends installed a urinal in their garage to accommodate their guests during parties.  A garage urinal, conveniently located next to the full size garage fridge and underneath the wall mounted garage flat screen.  Oddly enough, since the garage urinal was installed, they haven’t had a single drunken party.  The last was the Mayweather fight where the guests left tire marks all over our driveway as they hurried to turn their cars around and speed off home.


On the other side of our home is a family with four kids, one of which belongs to the couple and three that belong to the wife/girlfriend only.  I had high hopes for them because the guy was really friendly towards my husband and the oldest son was friendly towards our kid.  Didn’t last long.  They had a party where they not only blocked off the street with flashing lights (because… they own the street?), but had drunk idiots sitting in our yard and leaving cigarette butts everywhere.  They not only lose track of their puppy in our yard, but lose their baby in it as well.  Their baby.  They have thrown balls into our house multiple times, the parents only directing them to stop AFTER we stick our heads outside.

The middle boy is the worst kind of kid and will stand in the middle of our backyard while playing catch.  After upsetting my dog (who I value more than anyone in my neighborhood), I told the middle kid “I need you to please get out of my yard, you’re making my dog upset.”  Nicer than I wanted to be since the adults were outside having a garage sale, but he moved after glaring at me a bit.  After this happens, the delusional mom approaches me and the first thing out of her mouth is “did we do something to offend you?”  Seriously, lady?  Your kid is standing in the middle of my yard playing catch.  Not on the edge, not popping in to retrieve a ball, but just standing there.  My dog is upset by this because it’s his yard.  I tell him to move, very nicely I might add, and this is your response?  It took all my self-control not to go off on this woman, who thinks her family and children are so charming, that others should feel honored to be in their presence.  Every time their dog gets loose while she plays on her phone, I wish terrible things on her.

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No one puts their dog on a leash, and we had three dogs run up on our (leashed) dog and scare him pretty good, so now he hates the site of any of those dogs.  Not that the owners care.  I hate to have to worry about my dog biting another dog while trying to defend me, then having animal control tell me that my dog is dangerous, all because some twat decided their precious pooch was too good for a leash.  I don’t want to see a dog get hit by a car due to careless owners.  Unfortunately for me, everyone else who feels the same way I do lives on another street.  My street is asshole heaven.

Maybe I’m being too picky, but we are investing serious cash into this house and really aren’t asking for much.  Don’t make the curb in front of our home into your permanent parking space.  Don’t tell your kids it’s okay to play in our yard.  Put your dog on a leash.  Don’t throw shit at our house.  Don’t leave trash in our yard.  Keep your drunk asshole friends off our property.  Don’t play cornhole on the sidewalk right in front of my house when you have room to do it elsewhere and stay out of my yard.  Understand that there are shared spaces around us that need to be respected, AND that private property should be respected even more.  If everyone quit acting like they were the only people in the entire world, got out of their bubble for a minute and thought of how their actions affect others, life would be much happier for us all.

It’s Finally Fabulous Wedding Season

The Supreme Court ruled, in a 5 to 4 vote, that the Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage.  This is something I never expected to see in my lifetime and something that makes me proud of this country.  Marriage should be a union between two consenting adults; there is nothing complex or confusing about it.  I’m excited to see what this monumental ruling brings down the road.


What doesn’t excite me is the horrible attitudes of people who still strongly oppose same-sex unions.  The reality we live in is full of all types of couples; different races and social standings and genders and religions.  No one has to agree with every union out there.  I don’t happen to agree with an 18-year-old marrying someone old enough to be their grandfather, but I’m not about to parade the streets in protest.  Consenting adults get to marry whoever those consenting adults want.

A marriage of any kind affects the two people who are married, plus any children they have, any pets they keep, and any family members who live with them.  Outside of that, if you are affected by someone’s marriage, it is because you are choosing to insert yourself somewhere that you don’t need to be.  My brother, who was married last year, lives in New York and his marriage didn’t change anything in my world.  Two friends of mine also married last year, and their marriage (which was the best wedding I’ve ever been to) also didn’t affect me past the few pounds I probably gained from their amazing cupcakes.  If you are whining about how you are negatively affected by same-sex marriages, it’s your own damn fault.


The whole “I don’t want it thrown in my face argument” isn’t valid either.  The people who are shouting this from the rooftops are the same ones who are heavily invested in reality television, who are keeping up with the Kardashians, and who gossip heavily on social media.  You are throwing nonsense in the faces of everyone around you when you drone on about the latest garbage on E! News, discussing the most recent celebrity weddings and hook-ups.  The world isn’t going to censor itself because you’re too fragile to handle it.  If you don’t want things “thrown in your face,” remove yourself from society, stop watching Big Brother, and log off Facebook while the rest of us carry on living our lives and enjoying the little pleasures each day brings.

“But I don’t want to see rainbows everywhere, or two men making out.”  First of all, rainbows are fantastic.  They are bright and colorful and happy.  If you hate the sight of happiness, I don’t know what to tell you.  Second, I can understand not wanting to see two guys making out because, personally, I don’t want to see ANYONE making out.  Excessive displays of public affection are uncomfortable regardless of the couple.  That said, if you are getting up in arms about two women holding hands, you need to take it down a notch and quit being so damn uptight.  PG displays of love are a part of life; so long as it doesn’t cross a line, quit obsessing and leave people alone.


“But it destroys the sanctity of marriage.”  And straight couples getting married for the 4th or 5th time doesn’t?  Shows like Arranged, The Bachelor/Bachelorette and Married At First Sight aren’t destroying it?  Photographers stalking celebrity weddings and posting photos for greedy fans to devour doesn’t destroy it?  Sorry, guys, but a woman marrying a woman she loves isn’t destroying a single thing.  It’s working to rebuild the institution of marriage by opening the door for many more loving and deserving couples that want to marry in the eyes of God and/or the law.

When it’s all said and done, everyone has the right to their own opinion.  But I have the right to keep my distance from people who are stuck in the dark ages and who refuse to evolve along with the rest of us.  I have already deleted a couple of people from my life due to their ignorant and close-minded views.  I have deleted them because they are insulting, rude, and acting quite childish, not to mention quick to place blame on the so-called cowards who have joined me in dropping them as friends.  People who oppose equality and love don’t earn any space in my life.

Maybe these people will come around, and maybe they won’t.  What matters to me is that the majority is standing tall and proud, cheering this decision along with me.  My child will grow up in a better world than I grew up in.  Things are changing and it can only get better from here.  It’s a waste of time and energy to sulk, hating on people you don’t even know.  Stop hating.  Start embracing.

Call Her Caitlyn

I’ll be honest, I am 100% tired of hearing about Bruce Jenner’s transition to Caitlyn, his new identity now that he is publicly out as a her.  The story was out in the public eye long before Jenner made the official announcement, thanks to the Kardashian’s reality show and fondness for living life like an open wound.  Countless tabloids reported how Bruce was shaving down his Adam’s apple, growing his hair, and taking female hormones in preparation to become a woman.  Photos of him wearing a dress were illegally obtained and briefly posted.  Eventually, he gave a heartfelt interview to tell the world about his transition in his own words and on his own terms.

Now, the Vanity Fair photos have been released in preparation for the July issue that will feature Jenner on the cover with his new name and as a woman.  He has received surgeries, including breast augmentation, and facial reconstruction to appear more feminine.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was looking at someone who was born a female  Since the photos surfaced, all everyone is talking about is Caitlyn.  People are excited and call her a hero, and people are disgusted and want him to piss off.


I was born a female and am quite happy being female, so I cannot begin to understand what it must be like for someone to be born in the wrong body.  The positive part of this is that people are talking.  Sadly, the Kardashians are the biggest names out there when it comes to reality TV, so the reach that this story gets is massive.  Caitlyn has forced everyone to acknowledge that transgender individuals can be anyone and can come from anywhere.  It is in our face whether we like it or not, and that is something I am happy about.  The LGBT community isn’t going to vanish, so anything that helps get more people talking and more people exposed is welcomed by me.

That said, I 100% understand why certain people are angry about Jenner being hailed as a hero and talked about as if she is a Goddess.  She is not the first to make this journey and certainly won’t be the last.  She has the money to get the surgeries while others do not.  She gets the glamorous photo shoot while others get ignored.  It’s unfair.  On the other side, people that consider a hero to be something other than a person getting a sex change, I see your point of view as well.  I honestly can’t decide if what Jenner is doing is a brave step towards an honest life or some insane publicity stunt (thanks, Kim).  If living honest is heroic, we all have the capacity to be a hero, so I’m not quite comfortable with that title while also not opposing it.

Here’s the bottom line though; Jenner can do whatever she wants to do and it doesn’t matter one little bit whether you like it or not.  We all have the right to be happy, so long as our happiness doesn’t harm others or break laws.  We have the right to pursue that happiness, and as long as we don’t overstep the obvious boundaries, no one has any room or right to tell us we can’t.  Not all of us are born to fit into the “normal” mold and I think it’s fantastic that we have resources to help us find our true place in life.  I can get fake boobs if I want, and so can Caitlyn.  Jenner isn’t my hero, but I’m glad he decided to publicly become a she.  Now it’s on us to either accept that there are people like this in the world or to choose to remain close-minded and hateful.  I hope everyone chooses wisely.


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